UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

NEW SPECIMENS OLD SPECIMENS THE SCIENTIST MY LOG CONTACT ME
2001-06-15 - 7:33 a.m.

THE TIES THAT VELOBIND

According to the manufacturer, VeloBind is a unique technology that offers a professional and durable bind without glue, stitching, chemicals, or odor. Some pricey law firms use the method to bind their briefs. (Cheap government agencies such as the one I work for use three staples instead.) Lately I�ve decided that the tie that binds my career with that of my husband, Mr. Philately, is a VeloBind.

Mr. Philately and I have had somewhat intertwined careers for years now. I litigate appeals on behalf of people with no money who have been convicted of state crimes. He litigates appeals on behalf of people with lots of money who have been convicted of state and federal crimes. He makes more money but I have health insurance for all of us.

His professional connections with many of the people at my office go back longer than my professional connections with them. We�ve given joint presentations at conferences (when I�ve roped him into it) and we�ve judged moot court presentations together. We�ve even been mentors as a team. I regularly act as a messenger between various people at my office and him. Until he started his own solo law firm, he occasionally did the same for me. People call me to ask what he thinks about things and, occasionally, call him to ask what I think. Once, one of my colleagues lost his mind entirely and, after he and I disagreed at a staff meeting, the man asked my husband to get me under control. Mr. Philately, despite being taken aback, wisely informed the guy that he wasn�t even going to try.

My recognition that the tie between us was actually a VeloBind resulted from the amendment of the state rules of appellate procedure. These rules dictate everything from what paper is filed when to what the paper that is filed looks like (and, in some instances, what it says.) The old rules allowed for staples or hot glue binding. The law firm Mr. Philately worked for then had special permission to VeloBind.

Being a man of principle with an amazing ability to fixate on detail, Mr. Philately campaigned to make VeloBinding permissible for all. When they began to amend the rules, he made a lot of very good suggestions that were ultimately used. He also suggested allowing VeloBinding for all�and got it.

The new rules will be effective on July 1st so the big-wigs at my office arranged for a training on them. For those like me who are very visual learners and barely remember what a speaker said, it would have been much more efficient to just let me read the rules but, instead, I found myself sitting at a meeting in which people were reading them to me. They had failed to arrange for a large enough room so there I was in the back with no place at the table as I attempted to listen to people read me the rules.

Then we hit the VeloBind rule change and I was not anonymous in the back anymore. All of a sudden, I heard people who always call me by my first name say, �And then there is the rule that those who can afford it can VeloBind, right Mrs. Philately?� Followed by a �So we�ve covered the VeloBind rule, right Mrs. Philately?�

Oh, well, if we�re going to be so closely bound together, we might as well be high class. We might as well have a VeloBind.

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