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2001-07-01 - 8:19 a.m.

WAVING GOODBYE

Today the residential camp season begins. This afternoon Mr. Philately and I will drive Day-Hay down to girl scout camp. I�ll pick her up on Tuesday. It�s a short time but it�s just this season�s beginning. Next Sunday she�ll go to a different camp for a week with two of her close friends and, after that, Kat will go away for almost a month.

This time is not the first time my children have gone away from me. They started leaving me years ago. When Kat was six, she went with one of my sisters and my sister�s husband to Oregon without me. She still talks about that trip and the one to Phoenix to stay with my parents and the one to San Antonio.

It�s good that I don�t gauge the depth of kids� love or my parenting ability by how physically close my children long to be. I�d be in agony. My kids wave goodbye at the drop of a hat if presented with an exciting alternative to staying at home. Yet I�ve never had the sense that they were running away. They are running to: to family, to friends, to adventure. Each of them has indicated that for them, as for me, it is a strong anchor at home that makes adventuring easier.

I want to be loved, I want to be missed, I want to be wanted, but I don�t want to be needed. I want my children to know their own strengths and to know that they can make it even if I am not right by their side. I want them to know that they carry the important parts of me with them in their hearts and that I am there no matter where I or they may go. If I do not cry when I say goodbye, it�s because I know that I keep a part of them with me.

I will miss Day-Hay but it feels right. Parenting is one wave goodbye after another�and she and I do it well. Besides, she and her laundry will be back soon.

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