Recently, someone asked me to �honor� her feelings. Big mistake. I don�t honor any feelings, including my own. I consider them, use them, vent them, listen to them, and occasionally follow them but I never honor them. I honor my parents and my promises�most of the time. As far as I know, no feeling has ever covered itself with glory or been worthy of any honor. They�re feelings�nothing more (or less) than feelings.

I accept that people have feelings. I believe that people should pay attention to their own feelings and those of others. There�s a far cry, however, between considering feelings or appeasing feelings and letting feelings dictate my life. Besides, I�ve noticed that people who want to honor feelings generally mean for me to honor their feelings or those of their children.

I prefer blunter language. If you want me to do something, ask me to do it. Convince me that you have a good idea. It�s okay to give me some emotional reasons but give me some reason. Don�t bully me with your feelings. It takes too much energy to quash the little guy in my head who wants to scribble graffiti on that heart on your sleeve.

Maybe I�m just getting weary. I�ve dealt with too many people who claim extreme sensitivity a few times too often. I�ve learned that after you do their dirty work for them, they won�t honor you. They won�t even be grateful. They�ll just confirm their view that you are insensitive. If I�m going to be considered insensitive anyway, I�d just as soon skip the part where I do the work.

So, honor my feelings�don�t ask me to honor yours.

|