Men sometimes tell me to say what I mean. I do say what I mean. It�s just that we�re often speaking different languages even when we�re both speaking English. Take apologies, for example.

I never apologize to a client unless I�m sure I did something wrong and I really mean it yet I apologize profusely in other areas of my life. It�s not because my clients are less deserving of apologies than my friends or family members. It�s that most of my clients are male and macho. Apologies seem to mean something different to them than they do to me. For many of my clients, an apology is a sign of weakness so, unless a good chance exists that the apology could do some good, I don�t supply it. No one wants a weak lawyer and a woman attorney is always a bit suspect anyway.

I know that saying that men view apologies differently is a vast over-generalization. Mr. Philately is free and loose with his apologies and I love him for it. My dad apologizes so routinely that my mother set out to get him to say, �It�s regrettable� when discussing something he could not possibly have done and was not really apologizing for. She didn�t succeed but she did try.

Still, when in a foreign land, one should learn the dominant culture�s language and customs. Never mind how they do it in Pink County, I�m in Blue City now�and it�s giving me the blues. (Sorry.)

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