The good news is that Raccoon has moved out. It took longer than the Critter Guy said it should but the combination of ammonia soaked rags, blaring music from the Sixties, and interrogation lights caused him to rethink whether the accommodations were as luxurious as he first believed. I can picture him now telling all of his raccoon friends about what bad neighbors we were.

It was well past time for Raccoon to be gone. Man was waking with dreams of Raccoon holding a rave party down there with thousands of raccoon buddies sniffing ammonia and dancing to the music. He�s never actually seen a raccoon mosh pit but the concept was enough to give him nightmares.

Once Man was sure Raccoon was gone, he took his hammer and nailed up the board Raccoon had pried off to gain entry. Man nailed it up. Man nailed it through the side. Man was taking no chances. I had flashbacks of cartoons. I pictured Man nailing up board after board�and then having a freight train roar through with a Raccoon shaped engine. Either that or Man having Raccoon come in through the secret back door and knocking from the other side of the board. My real fear, though, was that it would be the bungee cords all over again. Raccoon would destroy the rest of the house to get in but the nails would hold.

The bad news is where Raccoon has moved. Man thinks he has moved into the shed. A window is popped out and something has been redecorating in there. Yesterday Man battled for his house. Tomorrow Man may battle for his lawnmower. If Man weren�t a card-carrying Lover of Nature and an Obeyer of the Law, he might be thinking that Farmer Bob was on to something when he suggested use of a .22.

I�d love to tell you that this piece is the final chapter but I don�t dare. Man has nicknamed Raccoon �Jason.� Just like the dinosaurs of Jurassic Park and Freddie Krueger, he�ll be back.

|