I thought that when Kat left for camp, I�d lose a kid and regain a telephone. Day-Hay occasionally makes calls but she is all business on the phone and when the business is done, she hangs up. No, the person who has discovered yakking on the phone is the generally quieter Mr. Philately.

I understood it when he was talking on the phone for long periods of time in an attempt to work out a family crisis. The nearest family members on either side are six hours away. Occasional monopolizing of the phone comes with the house when you live at a distance from all family members.

Perhaps he�s just fallen into a pattern. After all of that telephone angsting with his family, he�s grown accustomed to having a telephone grow out of his ear. Perhaps he just feels incomplete without it. Perhaps he�s trying to hide a cowlick. Perhaps he just wants to talk to people who, unlike his wife, will let him get a word in from time to time.

But I draw the line when he begins talking to my sisters at length. I understand that the topic was painting. I understand that she was not forsaking me for him but was legitimately trying to get good advice on fixing up her house. I was not hurt that she asked to talk to him. I was just annoyed that he was on the phone. For a while. Again. And after he got off the phone with her, he made another call.

The real problem is not so much that he has found his voice (although I�m always a bit concerned where things like that might lead. Today he thinks he has the right to talk to my sister. Tomorrow he�ll think he has the right to talk to me. Worse, he�ll expect me to listen.) No, the real problem is that we have only one phone line.

Yes, you guessed it, his yakking interferes with my ability to go on line. Luckily for you, I write offline and post in the early morning before he�s up and showered and on the phone. But if I ever fail to post, blame it on Mr. Philately and his newfound hobby�the telephone call. Never mind that he�s been taught by one of the best: me.

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