UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

NEW SPECIMENS OLD SPECIMENS THE SCIENTIST MY LOG CONTACT ME
2001-09-03 - 8:47 a.m.

PHILATELY IN UNREQUITED LOVE

Mr. Philately is in love. I may be the flesh-and-blood love of his life but I�m not the only love of his life. No, there is no other woman. There is a baseball team�his baseball team, the Milwaukee Brewers. The love appears unrequited.

As near as I can tell, rooting for the Brewers is like rooting for the uncoordinated kid who the coach has to let play because the rules require it. It�s like being the parent of that kid and having to look calm and confident while inside you are repeating to yourself, �Please, kid, don�t spin around and throw the bat when you strike out. Please, kid, this once, don�t let the ball go past you while you pick the dandelions.� It has all of the frustration and none of the panache rooting for the Cubs used to have. The players come and go and they�re all bad or quickly injured and you don�t know any of them.

But Mr. Philately perseveres (or perseverates which in this case amounts to the same thing.) He puts on his Brewers hat and he heads off to the ball park. He faithfully turns on the radio and listens to the game in each room he frequents. He cheers when they have a run (however rarely) and takes each loss reasonably stoically. He starts each season as though they really have a chance even when he knows in his heart of hearts that doing well means looking reasonably respectable, not winning a pennant. He thrills when some other team is in the cellar.

Although he did not believe in spending the money for the new stadium, Miller Park, he loves not being only a fair weather fan. He likes the idea of going to the ball park and watching Brewers lose rain or shine. He loves listening to Bob Uecker and never seems to notice that Uecker�s shtick is getting as old as he is (and this sentiment applies regardless whether the �he� in question is Mr. Philately or Uecker but even more so if it is Uecker.) He loves learning about each promising new pitcher as though that guy is not going to be on the disabled list within a week or two.

Earlier in our marriage, I tried to join him in his passion. I tried to get interested in the Brewers or some other team or baseball in general but I just couldn�t manage it. I don�t care about batting averages or earned run averages. I particularly don�t care about a second-rate team with no heart for the game.

The bad news is that I am a baseball widow. The good news is that I know how deep Mr. Philately�s loyalty goes. He won�t abandon me�even if I stink as much as the Brewers.

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