Last spring when my grandmother died, several people thought I should do the eulogy because she and I were close. I was glad I was not asked to do the eulogy because I am not very sentimental and, although I loved her deeply, she also was one of the most complicated women I have ever met. I was not sure what I would have said but, after this past week, I know what to say. I would thank my grandmother for being an indomitable spirit and for passing some of her strength on to me.

My grandmother lived through a lot of hardship but she was very good at keeping the essential parts of herself. When a pogrom of Russian soldiers bent on trouble swept through her village in Belarus, her father instructed her and her sisters to put on old clothing least they be punished for being not only Jews but wealthy Jews. My grandmother, however, loved dresses. She followed her father�s instructions but only to a point. She put on a very old dress so it completely covered a new one that she liked. The soldiers came through and did great mischief. When it was all over, she was the only woman in town with a decent dress.

Years later, after my grandfather had died, she lived alone in an apartment in Michigan. Robbers came in, took her things (although not the silver tea set I now have), tied her up, and left her in the closet. She didn�t move out because she was where her friends were. She didn�t hide her tea set or hide away anything else not stolen. She didn�t tremble in fear in her apartment and refuse to go out. �Cossacks!� she said�and continued her life. When I told her I admired her, she told me very briefly that no one should let Cossacks have anything more than they could take by force.

I don�t mean to suggest that the woman had no fear. Grandma had a lot of fears. She was sure we would catch our death of something if we didn�t eat more. She was sure that I would get into accidents on the way back to my college dorm from her house. She even cautioned my own father to be careful once when he came into town and took me out for the evening. She just didn�t believe fear was a reason to stop living.

In adversity, she worried not only about herself but about others. She specifically invited cousins who felt ill at ease about their reception back to the house after her husband�s funeral. She could feud with you one day and, when you fell ill, bring you chicken soup the next. She believed that one could gain strength from families, friends, and neighbors around. Your people could be annoying and do things you disapproved of but people, your people, were the sustainers of life and were the good in life.

She was an indomitable force and I miss her.

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