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2001-09-26 - 6:26 a.m.

SHARING

(WARNING: This is my mind. This is my mind on cold viruses. Any questions?)

Sharing can be a bad thing. Just ask Mr. Philately and poor Day-Hay. I seem to have shared my cold with them. The family that coughs together......also blows noses together.

Given enough sneezing, we also share bad attitudes and a lack of sleep. Aren�t you glad you�re not here with us? I suspect Kat, the only healthy one in the bunch, is looking for a temporary home�anywhere but here�but she may be doomed already.

As parents, we spend much of our time when we have babies and toddlers teaching them to share. No one has to teach babies and toddlers to share colds, of course. They do so readily�at least until they learn to blow their own noses. For years, I had fair warning when I was going to get a cold. I watched that cold come home with one of my kids. With Day-Hay, it usually had just enough time to turn into an ear infection for her before I became miserable.

More recently, it seems to be my kids who get the early warning�not that it does them any good. Mr. Philately and I have been bringing home more than our share of colds. I suspect the situation comes from working with people who have babies and toddlers. The babies and toddlers give it to their parents and their parents give the cold to us. Where would cold viruses hang out if it weren�t for babies and toddlers? Aren�t babies and toddlers the natural incubators for cold viruses?

Perhaps it�s not sharing that should be considered a bad thing. Perhaps it is babies and toddlers. Oh, I know. You�re wondering how we would propagate the species if we got rid of babies and toddlers. You�re wondering how Kat would manage to make so much money babysitting if we got rid of babies and toddlers. (You�re probably also wondering what it is about having a cold that seems to attack my brain cells.)

No, there is no use getting rid of babies and toddlers the world over. If I could, Kat would start working a way to re-invent them and I�m not at all ready to deal with THAT. Mr. Philately would never forgive me�especially if he ended up having to feed those babies as often as he ends up having to feed the stupid birds.

Perhaps we need a less radical solution. We need a system for removing the cold viruses from all those babies and toddlers. I know most babies appear to think that the nasal bulbs will suck out their brains with the phlegm but maybe they�re just afraid that we�ll manage to remove the colds from them and they won�t have any purpose in the larger scheme of life. Perhaps they�re afraid they�ll be left with nothing that they�re willing to give up when we ask them to share. Perhaps it�s just a matter of convincing all those babies and toddlers that they can give up the colds and still have something to share.

Hmmm, what could we convince a baby or toddler to share willingly other than colds? I don�t know but I suggest we assemble some scientists and start figuring it out.

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