The local news told us something last night that the newscaster did not explain: Wisconsin has the second largest amount of alien or UFO sightings. Wisconsin is second only to New Mexico. Traveling around the state and meeting all the people gives one idea why it may be true but what if it is absolutely true? What if aliens really are particularly interested in Wisconsin? What possible reason could there be for their interest?

Understand that I am not talking about ordinary aliens. I�m not talking about the Hmong that have come to live in the Green Bay area, Mexicans in Milwaukee, or those errant Canadians who have the nerve to come and try and steal the knowledge in our universities. I�m talking little green men (and perhaps women.) I�m talking ET. I�m talking extraterrestrials whether friendly or unfriendly.

One possible explanation may be that, like many a pioneer, they are looking for green spaces and water. The oceans are large but maybe their guidebooks indicate that those oceans have salt water. They are looking for a large body of fresh water and Lake Michigan fits the bill. Perhaps they also think (correctly) that the interior of a country may be less populated than places by the ocean might be. If so, Wisconsin is more interior than Michigan, which would explain why Wisconsin and not Michigan.

Maybe they have more information than I am giving them credit for. Maybe they have seen those �Laverne and Shirley� re-runs and they are coming for the beer, the brats, and the bowling. More likely, they are Packers� fans. (Isn�t everyone who counts? Those who aren�t become so in self-defense after spending a fall with us listening to all-Packers news all the time.) If not, they figure they can blend in with Packers� fans. Green skin, no problem. A lot of the natives paint their skin (and hair and goodness knows what else) green during football season. The ability to hide antennae under cheesehead hats is a plus. A cheesehead is the perfect headgear for any coneheads too.

Besides, what have the aliens to fear from being seen in Wisconsin? This is the land of a tavern (and sometimes a church) at every major crossroad. Surely they can get the populace to believe that the drink is causing what they are seeing.

But none of this speculation explains the popularity of New Mexico. Yes, I know Roswell is there but that hardly seems like a dandy vacation spot. It cannot compete with the lush green and cool water of Green Bay or the water parks of Wisconsin Dells. Perhaps it is an alien winter spot. Maybe aliens really can�t stand the cold. There would be more sightings of aliens in New Mexico then because, after all, there is more winter than summer in Wisconsin. They would be down there more than up here. The alien rejection of Florida or Arizona might also be attributed to that desire to herd to the interior. Then again, maybe like the Czechs that came to America, the first one finds a place and the rest of them just swarm there.

As far as I know, I�ve not actually seen one of these aliens (although I suspect it could be hard to tell) but I keep hoping. I�ve occasionally wondered whether Mr. Philately was an alien (it�s that howdy thing) but he claims to be from Iowa and I�ve accepted that explanation. But now that I know there may be many among us, I�ll be looking.

Oh, my goodness! I�ve acquired a new hobby! (At least it will be less expensive than philately.)

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