UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

NEW SPECIMENS OLD SPECIMENS THE SCIENTIST MY LOG CONTACT ME
2002-11-09 - 11:04 a.m.

Everything is fine. The only reason I did not post yesterday is that I never was able to get out of my car long enough to get to the computer. Forget navigation systems (although I certainly could use one). I want a microwave in my car so I can eat while running errands.

NOT KEEPING UP WITH THE COHENS

The mantra for today is �sometimes the greatest gift is saying �no.�� Saying �no� generally is not a problem. The difficulty arises in the sheer volume of the work and the amount of noise the activity induces. Living near the suburb of Conspicuous Overcomsumption creates numerous opportunities for saying �no.� Sorry, children, keeping up with the Cohens is not on the agenda.

One of the Jewish rites of passage is the Bar (boys) or Bat (girls) Mitzvah. A Bat Mitzvah marks the assumption of adult responsibilities under Jewish religious law. The ceremony that accompanies this momentous even generally involves enough study to allow the emerging adult to lead a congregation in Hebrew prayer, to sing from the prophets, to give a talk on a biblical topic, and to read, in Hebrew with no vowels underneath, from the Torah (the Five Books of Moses). The day has religious significance and is a day of celebration.

The question, in this neighborhood of far more money than I�ll ever make, is what kind of a celebration. I�ve seen celebrations that rival opulent weddings. The more generally accepted celebration in my area however consists of a luncheon after the service and a party for all the kids in the universe complete with DJs, food, and fancy party favors. Some families save money by reducing the size of the luncheon. The only way to do that is to invite kids to the kids� party only and discourage them from coming to the meaningful part�the service�so that they will not realize that they are not invited to the luncheon. I refuse to move the focus off the service so I have no such option.

Given her age and her wide social circle, Day-Hay has attended at least one fancy kids� party every weekend for the last three months and no end is in sight. Naturally, she wants such a party. She wants to dance and run around, and be the center of attention of all her friends. She wants the glow sticks and the trinkets. She wants everyone to talk about her party the next week at school. But she�ll have to go without. The best she�ll get is a small sleepover in the house another weekend with popcorn and a DVD from Blockbuster if she wishes.

As did her sister before her, she comes home from parties protesting the unfairness of her parents and the universe. Little does she know that all it tempts me to do is to spread the nos to saying no to all the parties. I could do it and justify it on the grounds that I am keeping her focused on the religion and in perspective.

But I�d rather teach something else too. I�d rather teach that you can enjoy what others do but not follow the crowd. I�d rather teach that the world does not come to an end because you celebrate differently or use less money on such things. I�d rather teach that you can be celebrated and valued for you.

Not keeping up with the Cohens has its own rewards�and I�d like to teach that now.

LAST YEAR: Science Fair-- (A review of how I felt last year, just in time to start science fair with Day-Hay this year.)

LAST FIVE ENTRIES:

Fighting Over Money
Terribly Sad Just the Same
The Man I Married
The Blister
Bullying

previous - next

|

Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com
Copyright 2006 by Ellen

join my Notify List and get email when I update my site:
email:
Powered by NotifyList.com

On Display Ring
[ Previous | Next ]
[ Previous 5 | Next 5 ]
[ List Sites ]

about me - read my profile! read other DiaryLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!