One of my children (and I cannot remember which at the moment) summarized my approach to family situations quite accurately when she said, "Needs before wants and Dad's wants before mine." While that statement might be an overstatement, the overstatement results from occasional slips. The statement does reflect my philosophy even though many around me might not find it child-centered enough. But, as life is playing out, I don't regret taking the position for the moment.

I recently had a discussion with Kat about college life. She was remarking on how surprised she was to discover just how complicated, stressful, and generally "messed up" the family life of many of her fellow students was. She indicated that she had known that her parents' relationship was special but she had not known how far from the mainstream it might be. Then she went on to explain the advantage it gave her. It gave her a sense of safety and stability that they lacked and made the transition to college easier.

This morning, my brother, who is an administrator at a state college, and I were discussing Kat's remarks. He indicated that, like Kat, when he went to college he first began to appreciate my parents relationship (which is similar to the one FogieKnight and I share. Sometimes it is so similar that we sound eerily like we are channeling them.)

And so, I will blithely continue putting FogieKnight's wants first and I will not apologize for it. (Oh, and girls, I have decide that includes the music issue too. You are no longer children who need pacification on long trips. Be prepared to listen to your father's music---at least until *I* cannot stand it anymore.)

|