Someone�and a Google search failed to give me a definitive answer on whom�said that it is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. That sentiment is fine as far as it goes. Sure it�s better to do what you can about a problem than belly-ache, but what do you do after you�ve lit that candle and there�s still a lot of darkness all around? Do you set the house afire? Most people who contemplate the problem do so metaphorically. I�m doing so literally.

We are in the darkest time of year and at the point of the darkness when no end is readily in sight. I don�t mind occasional darkness. But unceasing darkness, unrelieved darkness, and constant gray are another thing. It�s dark when I go to work, it�s gray when I go to lunch, and it�s dark when I come home. I crave light. I get into the office early and, this time of year, I turn on all the lights. I�m not afraid of the bogeyman or some burglar lurking in the shadows. I just need the light and can�t get enough.

Under normal circumstances, I run up the electric bill in the winter. One lamp where I am reading is not enough. It makes me feel chilled. It makes me feel cold. It makes me want to throw the covers over my head and never come out. If I�m going to be dark, at least let me be cozy and warm and have nothing expected of me. One candle won�t change it and two candles won�t change it. Heck, the whole Chanukah menorah and with its nine candles (eight for the days and one to light the other eight�and yes, there�s probably some sort of lightbulb joke in there somewhere) won�t do it either. I need overhead lights, lots of them.

But one of my kitchen lights is out and I must eat in the dark. I had the electrician out on Friday and I thought the problem was fixed but I am back in the dark. For a while, I solved the problem with a globe lamp but Day-Hay accidentally tripped on the cord of that one on Saturday and the lamp was no more.

Mr. Philately tried to help. He tried the camping lantern but it didn�t do enough. He brought out candlesticks and candles but it wasn�t enough. I tried putting one of the ugliest lamps I�ve ever seen (but own because Mr. Philately would never let me throw out a lamp from a great-grandparent with no taste) on top of the microwave. But there isn�t enough light. I�m inwardly dying from lack of light. If you think a moth to a flame is a bad thing, you should see what the moth does when there�s no flame around.

I�ve fled the kitchen for another room but I can�t find one with enough light. My living room is a cave of wood paneling. Wood paneling eats light. Besides, there is no overhead light and Mr. Philately has shown his concern for the environment by replacing one of the lamp bulbs with some fluorescent circle bulb and a bulb is out in the ugly chandelier. My bedroom has never had enough light and the stamp stuff is so strewn over my dining room that I can�t find a chair to sit in let alone enough light there.

The more I think about it, the more I don�t understand why lighting a candle and cursing the darkness is an either-or proposition. I�m not sure that I should give up the satisfaction of cursing the darkness just because I managed to find a candle or two. Anyone who does is settling for far too little.

And so, curses on you, Darkness. A gerbil on your house!

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