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2001-11-14 - 6:41 a.m.

FAMILY DINNERS

This month is the part of the year when family dinners fall apart. As a general rule, we have family dinners six out of seven nights a week. Everyone sits down together and talks about their day, the weather, silly songs, politics, or any other topic that someone brings up. The comradery is better than a teddy bear�most of the time. But November is middle school play month and the play interferes two or three nights a week as Mr. Philately tries to help direct the stage crew.

The lack of family dinners makes cooking easier and harder all at the same time. It�s easier because I don�t feel I have to put a traditional meal on the table. Some family members are perfectly willing to grab sandwiches and carrots and other optsfor cereal and fruit. It makes it harder because I end up asking myself what I really want and re-discover that one of the reasons I am a mediocre cook is because I am a mediocre eater. I often prefer mediocre food. It�s not because my mother was a mediocre cook either. She wasn�t. No, the truth is I have an interest in eating but little interest in the food itself. I too can eat cereal for dinner for a night or two before I figure I�m missing much.

Still, I miss family. Without family dinner, I don�t feel as much a part of a whole. Family dinner is one of the rituals that links us as much as teasing Mr. Philately, getting involved in silly word plays, or re-writing the lyrics to songs. Heck, I�m beginning to think that even the constant complaining about food is one of our rituals. Perhaps every family needs a ritualistic way to deal with its dark side.

When my kids go off to college (and with Kat in high school I figure it will come fairly soon), I will miss their company but I will miss it most in the evenings around the dinner table. (As someone who is not a morning person, I assure you I will not think of missing them at the breakfast table.) I will miss complaining about the �kidneys� (think �kid knees�) at the table. I will miss reminding children that only vertebrates are allowed at the table. (No jellyfish please. I want to see faces and heads.) I may even miss the complaints about the menu. I know that I will miss hearing about their days, trying to give each other ear worms,* and learning about Wisconsin fast plants or how cool the word avuncular sounds.

What�s a family dinner without someone to kick you under the table or spill the milk? Perhaps I better start training Mr. Philately now. You never know when I might need a good, swift kick.

___

* An ear worm is a tune that you just can�t get out of your head.

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