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06/03/2006 - 7:43 a.m.

FLIRTING

After more than 21 years of marriage, FogieKnight and I still flirt. I'm a great believer in flirting. Flirting has gotten us through the infant years when romance was rare and sleeping even rarer. It has gotten us through the trials and tribulations of having young teens and not completely agreeing on what to do with them. Flirting doesn't solve marital problems, but it sure helps remind you why you want to solve them. Besides, flirting, at least the way we do it, is fun. It's a game---with no real losers.

Occasionally, very occasionally, he or I might flirt ever-so-lightly with others. Some of my friends has been surprised that his flirting with others does not bother me but it doesn't. We usually flirt with people with whom encounters are casual or in contexts where the rules are clear that flirting is as far as it goes. Still, I suppose there is room for misunderstanding. But I don't mind seeing an occasional flirt. He's not dead. I expect him to notice other woman and I'm fine with it, as long as he does not touch—and he knows it. Actually, I enjoy it. In an odd way it reassures me once again that I am a choice, not an obligation or simply a habit.

But the very best flirting is with each other. It has a light, teasing quality—or involves something unexpected. I love knowing him well and it is relaxing to be able to predict much of what he will do (or annoying, depending on what it is) but total predictability is boring.

And so, let the games begin. Let the flirting start or, more accurately, continue. Let it continue for the next twenty years or even more. That will be a lot of flirting—but I think I can manage it.

P.S. I wrote this entry last night before I ended up watching a fun production of "The Mikado." If flirting were a capital offense, would it be more fun---or less? Hmmm…..

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