For some people, living with adolescents in the house is living with high anxiety. They worry about what the kids are up to and what is out there that they cannot control. Most of the time, I accept what I can and I cannot control and I escape the anxiety. It helps that Kat, who had great difficulties in the elementary years, has really come into her own within the last few years. Things with her look so much better today than they did seven years ago that her adolescence seems calm. Nevertheless, I still have days when anxiety floats all around me like fog off Lake Michigan. Today is one of those days.

When fog floats in from the lake, I know why it is around. Over the years of living near the lake, I�ve learned to recognize the atmospheric conditions that will cause the fog such as really warm days in March while the lake is still quite cold. When anxiety rolls in from nowhere, I�m not always sure why although I�ve learned to recognize the atmospheric conditions such as times of transition.

No real transition is occurring this time around although I�m faced with the transitions of others. Next weekend begins the high school graduation season for nephews. Perhaps on some level I�m tapping into their transitions. After all, I know that it will be only three years before I make the same transition. Some days, the days when the whining of adolescence is non-stop, I feel ready for that transition. Some days, when I have particularly good conversations with the girls, I want to stave it off.

I could blame this tizzy on Kat receiving her schedule for next year. I was not thrilled to discover that my unbalanced (literally, not figuratively), uncoordinated daughter has the gym teacher from hell next fall. I was not thrilled to discover that her counselor considered it a good idea to see if that could be changed only to discover that Kat�s schedule would only work with that class�at least if Kat insisted that her study hall had to be second semester when she had the honors class of Modern European History. I was not thrilled to discover that I could not get Kat to reconsider her position on study hall (yet I was unwilling to force it because I think this one is her choice of poisons and I�m not sure it could be changed even with the study hall switch.) But while that may contribute, it�s not the prime cause.

No, this is high anxiety in search of an explanation not an explanation clearly causing high anxiety. If the past is any guide, it will settle on multiple reasons today (and maybe tomorrow) before it passes. I�ll find several things at work to obsess about and a few at home. But solving none of those problems will cure me. It�s not about them, it�s about.....I�m not sure.

The worst thing about free-floating anxiety is that it tends to be contagious. Well, not contagious exactly. I don�t think it infects those not prone to it. But, in this instance, like calls out to like. My anxiety will seek out your secret worries and let loose horrors. Poor Day-Hay, my worrier. As her general anxiety bumps into mine, it will embrace a kindred spirit and then go forth and multiply.

So, if you are looking for something to be grateful for today, be grateful that you are not here today to be sucked into the vortex of worried thoughts and unsettled places. And if you will be crossing paths with me today, get out the emotional garlic�because one bite of my anxiety and you could be doomed.

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