When I was a teenager, I flirted with Orthodox Judaism, the form of Judaism in which the men and women sit separately, women generally wear dresses, and married women cover their heads, sometimes with hats and sometimes with wigs. Kat knows about this period of my life. For years, she�s understood why eventually I decided that I could not live such a life. What she�s wondered is what I found attractive about it�other than the belief that it tortured my mother. After the last few days, she doesn�t wonder any more.

Kat has been working stage crew for the all-female production of �Oliver (With a Twist*)� that the local high school for Orthodox Jewish girls put on. They insisted that not only the play be all-female, but that the audience and the stage crew be all-female. By keeping it all-female, they did not have to worry about any of the constraints on what Orthodox females can do in the presence of males. They did not have to worry about the prohibitions on singing. They did not have to worry about all of the rules of modest dress.

To her surprise, Kat found the girls and women involved in the show to be bright, interesting, and welcoming. She found a camaraderie that she says she rarely finds among girls. She found a sense of community and shared fun that was very attractive. She noted that, while not fashionable, many of the women were far more stylish and careful about makeup and dress than me or most of the people with whom I associate. I wasn�t surprised. I generally found the same thing years ago. She ended up commenting that she could think of worse groups to join.

And then I reminded her of the part that I could not tolerate. Orthodox Jewish women often are delightful in groups of all women. The problem is what happens when there are men around. The problem is what one can and cannot do when men are around. The problem is what one can and cannot study. The problem is the rules about each and every thing that one must do down to the smallest detail. Kat hates most chores. She would hate the zillion chores that Orthodox Jewish do every day and more so on each holiday.

Kat then agreed. The cultural exchange is broadening and fun but returning from that world has distinct advantages. It�s nice to go away but it�s nice to come home again.

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* The twist part involved some plot changes that I won�t go into in detail here. Suffice it to say that Nancy really is Oliver�s mother and sings �As Long as He Needs Me� about her search for Oliver, rather than about Bill Sykes, and that Fagin reforms at the end and starts a school for wayward boys. None of which strikes me as a whole lot less plausible than the story Charles Dickens wrote but then Dickens never missed an opportunity to play with bizarre coincidences and unlikely plot twists himself.

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