2002-09-29 - 3:14 p.m.
HONESTY
If you spend any time at websites devoted to those who keep journals on the internet, the topic of honesty inevitably will come up. How aware should a writer be of her audience? Is it cowardly or the mark of maturity to hold back? Do you write as honestly as you can even if it may hurt someone? What is the writer�s obligation to herself and what is her obligation to her audience? What is honesty any way?
In most contexts, what honesty is seems clear. You don�t say that you did not eat the last of the Cheerios if you did. You don�t put the empty Cheerios box back in the cupboard so someone will expect that the Cheerios are still there. You don�t say that you�re not sure if there are any more Cheerios when you know very well that you ate the last of the Cheerios.
Honesty seems a bit more murky in the world of feelings and writing. When, at midnight last night, I let all my frustration, irritation, and pain hang out, was I being honest? Yesterday�s piece reflected where my emotions were right then, raw and relatively undigested, but were they honest? Certainly, the writing was not an accurate reflection of my general emotional state in the light of day, however much the writing was truth to the moment.
Then one must account for the phenomenon that observing something tends to change it. Yes, I was beside myself last night when I could not sleep. As I wrote, though, I found my feelings further and further out on the edge. Venting can be helpful. What happened last night and what often happens when I try to vent, however, is that I get the boiler going more than I get the steam vent open. My innate sense of drama takes over and magnify what is happening. Is something that is magnified honest?
As a general rule, I try to write something for friends knowing that strangers are listening in. Much as many people insist that they are writing for themselves, I don�t. I figure that if I were writing for myself, I�d put it in a notebook under lock and key. Last night I�m not sure what I wanted from you or me. I�m not sure what took over last night but I�m not as bad off as it might appear.
And that�s the honest truth.
LAST YEAR: Going Bananas
LAST FIVE ENTRIES:
Inside the Box
The Right Question
Silence as a Measure
Having No Life
Wider Opportunities
previous - next
|
Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
