2003-07-16 - 8:04 p.m.
I have been writing, really I have. I have been writing more motions and briefs than any human being should have to write in one week. So, what do I do when I have a break? Well, I thought about writing a journal entry but SOMEONE needed an audition monologue. The only part available at our local children�s theater for someone her age is the part of the ditzy love of Stanley�s ancestor in �Holes.� She needed a ditzy monologue and she could not find one. So....here I come to save the day:
THE INTERVIEW
(Rushing into room) Okay. Here I am. For the interview. I know I�m an eensy teensy weensy bit late, but it�s only...(looking at watch and realizing she has no watch) Well, it�s not very late. You will forgive me----won�t you? (Pause) And you�d best not be so grumpy about it. My mother always said a cheerful mind is.....a cheerful mind is....a cheerful mind.
Okay, my qualifications. What did you want again? (Pause) Oh, yes, I remember. Play games, all sorts. I�m very good at badminton and water polo and even checkers with those little teeny tiny pieces and.....
(Crestfallen) Oh, dear. (Clapping once) Wake up, would you? I didn�t mean to... Well, that WAS the wrong ad, wasn�t it? You don�t want a nanny. You want a housekeeper. �Focus,� I always say. � Hocus.... Pocus....Focus.�
I can sweep floors, make beds, and clean dishes spotlessly. Honest. I am the very picture of domestic efficiency. I am.... Oh, bless you! Now where was I?
(Angry and jumping up) Never mind. I don�t want this job anyway. I couldn�t possibly work for some dopey guy who rolls his eyes at me. I�ll show myself out. (Begins to exit and opens imaginary door)
(Turning back) Oops! Closet.
LAST YEAR: A Little Prayer for the Interviewers
TWO YEARS AGO: The Circus Parade
IN CASE YOU MISSED THEM:
A Claim to Fame Gone
Rachel Usurps Leah
Sounds of Silence
The Wages of Opinionated Children
Strawberries
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
