UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

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2003-02-28 - 8:27 p.m.

LAUGHTER

Day-Hay�s taekwondo master hates laughter at mistakes. No matter that the laughter is at one�s own mistakes. To him, laughter means a failure to take one�s skills and arts seriously. Laughter or smiles at mistakes are grave breaches of etiquette. Master and I obviously come from different cultures.

For me, laughter is not necessarily a sign that someone is not taking circumstances seriously. Instead, laughter is a tool for putting life, foibles, and frustrations into perspective. Laughing can be a way of remembering that this too, whatever this two is involved, shall pass. Laughing can be an acceptance of life�s challenges and limitations. Laughing is not necessarily a diminution. It can be an expansion and a connection.

Perhaps in taekwondo a case can be made that laughing is a problem. To laugh is to give yourself away. Martial arts require more of a poker face. To give yourself away is to put yourself at risk. But Master never explains himself in those terms. He simply assumes that his way is the right way, the proper way, and the way it should be.

But then Master seems to have a deep, deep fear of not being respected and of his skills not being respected. That fear may drive his aversion to laughter. Certainly, the fear drives Master into puffing at parents. He truly is a puffer fish that blows up to appear bigger whenever he feels threatened. And the more he puffs the more I want to laugh�not the putting it into perspective laughter but the diminishing laughter. I want to put him in perspective and in his place. Although I never actually do anything, he seems to sense this part of me. He keeps coming over and telling me horror stories about sparring so that I will respect the art properly.

Yet we continue to go to Master and allow Day-Hay to learn what he has to teach. Day-Hay knows that Master is not one of my favorite adults but she also knows that I respect his teaching skills. As Day-Hay says, he gives very, very clear directions and explanations. She is old enough to see through the puffing part, most of the time.

And she�s old enough to know the healing power of laughter�and smart enough not to use it in class.

LAST YEAR: More Fun Than Chicago

LAST FIVE ENTRIES:

Sad Day in the Neighborhood
Out to Get Me
Ah Ha!
Bath Salts
For This?

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