Clarence asks what God requires of us in the romance department. He notes that he has met several religious young women who seem to believe that their job is to pray and God�s job is to send them �a match made in heaven.� I have never subscribed to that particular view of marriage or of God. It puts me in mind of the old joke in which a poor man prays to win the lottery and hears God�s voice telling him his prayers are answered. Week after week, he waits but his lottery win does not come. �God,� he says. �I don�t understand. I prayed and You said my prayers were answered.� Then God responds, �Give me a little help here. Buy a lottery ticket.�

The situation also reminds me of a situation I encountered in college. While I was in college, I made money typing papers back in the days before most people could type and before word processors made typing a �forgiving� art. I was a fast typist. I still am.

I also had friends. My best friend became a devout and evangelizing Christian. Through her group, she met a nice young man and began dating him. One night at dinner, she mentioned to a group of us that he was very, very upset. He had been writing a paper and sometime that afternoon, had discovered that it was more complex and took longer than he thought. He was a very slow typist and now was afraid that he would not get it done by the deadline.

After hearing the story, I went to his suite and offered to help. He looked grateful and said something to the effect of �God answered my prayers. I�ve been praying about this all day.� I actually was a bit disgusted and I showed it. �If you�d just asked me, I could have had it done by now. As it is, you�ll have to settle for what I can get done in the next two hours.� I typed much of the paper for him but not all of it. It was too late for me to get all of it done without staying up later than I was willing to stay up.

No, I believe that God requires that we do for ourselves what we can. God is for growing, not for making life easy. Although I am not Catholic, I believe that St. Ignatius of Loyola got it right. �Pray as if everything depended on God,� he counseled, but then he went further. �Act as if everything depended on oneself.�

God should not be an excuse---not for war, not for ducking responsibilities to one�s family, friends or neighbors, and not for failing to act in weighty matters. If one believes in marriage, and most Christians I have met do, then one is not excused from looking for a mate in some vague hope that God will provide. It is not only a betrayal of God but also a betrayal of one�s self. There is much learning about relationships in the looking for a mate and much of that learning makes for a richer and stronger marriage.

I do not mind if God is used as a crutch when a person is limping. The use of God as a crutch is sacrilege, however, if a person is perfectly capable of walking or it keeps her from learning to walk.

If I were Clarence�.heck, if I were God�.I�d tell those young women a thing or two. It�s time they bought a lottery ticket.

|