A little lunch can be a wonderful thing. A few years ago, the offices in which Mr. Philately and I worked were right across the street from each other. Those were the years in which an evening out cost for both the evening itself and for the babysitter. We saved some money but kept connections alive by meeting for lunch. In recent years, our offices are still reasonably close but are just on the outskirts of walking areas and too far to get to for lunch without a car. We�ve stopped meeting for lunch as often and I�ve missed it. But yesterday we made a date for lunch.

Part of the reason Mr. Philately asked me to lunch is that I am going out of town for several days. I�m teaching at a seminar for high school teachers from today through Saturday. The Wisconsin State Bar, the Wisconsin Supreme Court, and the University of Wisconsin Education Department help sponsor it. The seminar is intended to give high school teachers hands-on lessons about the law and the practice of law. Mr. Philately said he would miss me.

I told him he would have my undivided attention at lunch and that I would listen to anything he wanted to say. There was a long pause. He seemed to think that he shouldn�t have to talk. He didn�t think he had anything burning to say. He just wanted to be with me. His reaction took me back in time. Once, Mr. Philately was very quiet and fairly shy. He liked listening to me babble (or not listening to me but just watching me.) But that was years ago. Now he can chat with the best of them (or the worst of them).

And he did chat, although I chatted more. No children around�just us. We chatted about work and things we were working on. We chatted about the kids, but only a little bit. We chatted about chatting. It was refreshing. It was interesting. It was longer than planned because our waitress suddenly left for a quick trip to Alaska. Something pressing was happening there that she just had to check on before she could possibly bring us the bill. Nevertheless, lunch was fun.

Some of the best moments of marriage are not the moments of high passion although I wouldn�t miss those moments of high passion. But there is a charm to the moments of quiet connection, of ordinary life, of just enjoying being together. Every couple needs to date, even if they have been married for years.

It was just a little lunch but it was a very big deal.

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