2003-01-17 - 10:41 p.m.
MELLOWING?
When it comes to community prayer, I�m generally a traditionalist. I want the same prayers in the same order with the same tunes so that I can participate easily. I don�t want community prayer as a spectator sport. I want to be a part of it and I want it familiar. I like ritual to be, well, ritualistic.
Over the years, people have explained to me, sometimes patiently, that varying prayer can keep it fresh and get people to think about it. I prefer to vary private prayer and stick to the plan in public. The tradition makes me feel tied to the people before me. I like knowing I am saying a prayer with the same words used in the Second Temple. I like knowing that, for at least some of the prayers, my grandparents said it as I did. I like knowing that other people in other places are saying it as I am.
I�m willing to have a new tune or prayer from time to time but it needs to be only one or two prayers at a time. I guess I�m a picky pray-er. I sure act like a child who is a picky eater. I need repetition before I wil accept the new and even then I will only accept it sometimes.
But tonight everything was different and, for once, I was okay with it�as long as it was just for tonight. Tonight we had a guest songleader with our cantor. Many of the tunes were new but the words were old. Many of the tunes were new but their harmonies were so beautiful that they transported me. The service was beautiful and in the beauty was peace. What saved the prayer from being a spectator sport was the all-encompassing beauty. Sometimes I couldn�t join the singing because I didn�t know the tune but my whole soul was caught up and I didn�t care.
Much as I hate to admit it, I looked at a few prayers differently and heard them differently. New tunes emphasized new words. New tunes gave a different context. Many of the new tunes were not so difficult that I couldn�t at least join in the �chorus.� If it only happens tastefully once or twice a year, I could grow to like differences in the service�I think.
I just wish I knew whether I�m growing old and tired of fighting or whether I�m mellowing.
LAST YEAR: Conditional Like
LAST FIVE ENTRIES:
Dreaming in Trains
Sorry
Where�s the Snow?
Everything�s Going My Way
In the Dumps
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
