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03/15/2005 - 9:56 p.m.

MYSTICISM IS DANGEROUS

There is not a mystical bone in my body. There are religious bones. There are poetic bones. But there are no mystical bones. If I ever had any doubt that no trace of my Chassidic ancestors mystical side has passed to me, that doubt has been resolved. Sitting in class did it---and I still have four classes to go. Luckily, I can enjoy people-watching and a class on mysticism is one of the great places to do that.

So what am I doing in a class on Jewish mysticism? Blame it on Kat. Unlike her mother, Kat IS interested in mysticism. Our rabbi was giving an hour class on Tuesday nights on the Zohar and mysticism. I thought Kat would like it. I also thought that Kat would be uncomfortable at the class on her own. So, being a good mother, I signed us both up, thereby dropping the average age in the class by several decades.

Our rabbi is very knowledgeable and some of the information is very interesting to me in a historical sense. But I have sat through enough class now to know that if the discussion is about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, others will ask what dance they are doing. If I pay any attention at all I will ask whether they can do it elsewhere because they are interfering with my sewing.

Once in a while, I will find what is being discussed extremely amusing. My amount of amusement is frowned upon, at least by Kat, and I have been trying to control myself. I don't mean to make fun of the mystical turn of mind but sometimes I just can't help myself. My mind does wander and it goes places it shouldn't. What is that angel wearing anyway and do you think angels wear bikinis? My religious streak sits dangerously close to a wide irreverent streak and mysticism sends me to the dark side.

No wonder the rabbis used to say mysticism was dangerous. It's dangerous alright. I'm going to be lucky if I manage to keep my mouth shut and my daughter does not kill me

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