8-27-2002 - 8:40 p.m.
PARADOXICALLY
The start of school, the exodus of house guests, lovely though their visit was, and a return to work bring with them regularity. Once again, I can make writing part of my routine because I have a routine again. Consider the changes literary metamucil. I'm more constrained and therefore I'm freer. I have no time so now I can write. How's that for a paradox?
Yet I am like that in many areas. The more I have an anchor, the more willing I am to set sail and explore. Give me iambic pentameter and a rhyme scheme and I can write a passable sonnet. Ask for free verse and catch my writing at its worst. It's not that I'm not creative. It's that, for a writer, I think like an engineer. I need a problem to solve to get the thoughts flowing. As the Colorado River, I am motivated by the need to get through Arizona and can create the Grand Canyon. As a meandering stream, well, I lack motivation and end up as a swamp or bog full of mosquitos.
"The more constrained I am, the freer I am" should be my motto in relationships too. As Mr. Philately discovered long ago, when I feel insecure in a relationship, I make the mistake of clinging. When I feel secure, I go off on adventures alone and relish coming home to tell about them. When I have no emotional home, I use up my energy creating one. When I have one, my energy can flow elsewhere.
Perhaps this paradox explains why my job is such a good fit for me. Some circumstances that would stress others into paralysis get me excited, looking for adventure, and feeling creative. (Others just make me cry but that's material for a different entry.) Law tends to be a structured art.
But, whatever the reasons, now that I am insanely busy driving children here and there and overseeing homework, I'm back. Regularly---because routine is my fiber.
LAST YEAR: Martha's Revenge
LAST FIVE ENTRIES:
Those on the Ground Floor
Finding My Rhythm
My Mother, the Potential Terrorist
Talk About Frustration
The GeezerGazette
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
