2003-05-19 - 9:15 p.m.
THE PERFECT GIFT
Some people are just hard to buy for. Mr. Philately is one of them. He likes stamps but I am not well enough versed in stamps to make appropriate purchases on his behalf. He likes to pick out his own clothes. If he wants an electronic device, he tends to study the situation, mull it over, and then buy if he wants. But I think I�ve found him the perfect gift for his next birthday. SHHHHH! Don�t tell him. I have to keep it a secret until his birthday this summer.
I�ve found him duct tape. Of course, being a real guy, he already owns duct tape. Last time I looked, he had two whole rolls of it. (I looked because, being a real woman, I was the one who went out and taped up the hole in the temporary sump line that we need to replace to the tune of a few thousand dollars. I was trying to make it last until it could be replaced and I did a heck of a job too.)
But rolls of duct tape are not very portable. Have you ever tried to put a roll of duct tape in your shirt pocket? It would not fit with Mr. Philately�s pen and what Kat in a surge of parental ego-boosting calls his �fogey glasses.� A roll of duct tape would form a lump. Besides, what about cutting the duct tape? Like me, Mr. Philately moves in and out of places such as courthouses that do not allow scissors or knives or any cutting implement.
Enter Christopher Blommel and his genius. Enter Christopher Blommel and his perfect invention. Enter Christopher Blommel and his Pocket Duct, a two by two inch packet of 18 inches of duct tape with a removable backing. What real man would want to be without this new invention? And what wife could not afford such a gift for a dollar or so even if she does not bring home a paycheck?
Of course, no gift is perfect and this gift is no exception. Do you think Mr. Philately would like the standard silver, the black, the brown or the camouflage? Ordinarily, I would assume he wanted the brown. The man has never met an earthtone he disliked. He likes any color�as long as it is brown. The brown would go with almost any shirt he owns. But he also is a traditionalist and traditional duct tape comes in silver. Do you think he is bold enough to risk carrying around brown duct tape?
The only other problem I foresee is that the inventor may be considering putting corporate logos on the package and letting companies give them away. Mr. Philately has very definite ideas about companies. He would not want Pocket Duct saying �Haliburton,� for example. It would blow his entire image and a gift should not do that.
Still, I think I have found the perfect gift and I am sure I will remember it when his birthday comes around. After all, I can tape a reminder to my forehead�with duct tape.
LAST YEAR: no entry
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Adventures in Prisonland
Personally
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The Little Matter of the Kitchen
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
