2003-05-12 - 8:46 p.m.
PERSONALLY
Of late, I�m taking all sorts of things personally. I�m taking my backache personally. I�m taking the rainy weekend, complete with high winds and lightening, personally. I�m taking running out of tissues personally. And the only reason that I can think of is that I�m working so hard at not taking things meant personally personally.
The school board, and that includes me, is at the ugly part of making budget cuts. We�ve been creative. Creativity only goes so far. We�ve cut most extras. We�re down to the cuts that hurt now. Cuts are hard enough in a large district. When the cuts mean the jobs of people everyone knows, likes, respects, and runs into frequently, it�s even harder.
Some people behave with equanimity. They make their points and oppose the cuts without getting personal. Some people clearly lose it and get personal. The ones that give me trouble are the ones who stick in the snide, personal comments into their remarks in ways they can and do disown later. You know them: the ones who were �just joking,� the ones who start by telling you that they�re only saying this for your good or the good of the community, and the ones whose tone indicates that only people who agree with them could possibly care about children.
I could say I have enough self-control not to take them personally. But it�s not true. At best, I have enough self-control not to appear to take them personally. It�s easy in print. It�s harder in person. It�s impossible behind closed doors. Poor Mr. Philately who has had to hear me vent.
Someone please remind me why I agreed to run for school board. Clearly, it wasn�t for the money. We don�t get paid. Clearly, it wasn�t for the glamor. There is none. Clearly, it wasn�t for the appreciation. I could wait all my life for that.
Sometimes being the kind of person who does what needs to be done stinks. Sometimes I wonder why I am that kind of person and think that if I ever got a chance to ask God, I would�but I�d be afraid that God would take the whining personally.
LAST YEAR: Mother�s Day
The Long and Shorts of It
The Little Matter of the Kitchen
Space in My House
Roar
Excitements of Marriage
previous - next
|
Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
