For good or bad, I am just not a stage mom. I have the prerequisite: two children who are passionate about theater. I even have a few of the skills. Thanks to some years of voice lessons back when we lived in Brooklyn, I am not a bad voice coach when it comes to helping the girls choose songs in their range and I can help them polish the sound when they ask for help. But therein lies one of my problems. I just can�t bring myself to insist on helping. I just can�t push.

Sitting around in the green room (or out in the lobby) as my children audition for our local professional children�s theater becomes a radical demonstration of my inability to push. I actually (gasp!) make my children fill out their own paperwork. I go over it for errors or omissions but only if they ask. My sole contribution is finding where I put the school pictures so they have photos to attach�and even with that one, if I didn�t do it, they�d ask for it. Most of the other mothers fill out the paperwork themselves so it is �done properly.�

I also cannot seem to fuss. Before my children go in, I do not give last minute instructions. I do not style hair. I do not tug at clothing or order them to �smile.� At most, I agree when they say, �Please hold this� and manage to wish them luck.

Nor do I play the stage mom games while I wait. I do not engage in conversations about which plays my children have been in and the lessons they have taken. I do not talk about the best places to have head shots taken, the best beauty parlors, or the best voice coaches. I do not anxiously whisper rumors or gossip about �what they are looking for� or how many parts there are available. I appear not to care too deeply and, for myself, I don�t.

None of this is to say that I do not sweat out auditions. I do--but not for the parts they can bring. I spend most of the auditions and the days after sweating out whether the girls will be disappointed with the results. There are more parts lost than won even for the best and my girls are good but even they would admit they are not the best. When high school plays are involved, the tradition has become that I drive over and wait so disappointment can be dealt with privately---in my car. Even that tradition will change this year unless Day asks for it to continue because Kat will be driving over every day in �the Boo.� (The Boo is the current name for the Malibu.)

Some of us are born to be stage moms. Others have it thrust upon us. Today, once again, is an audition day. I may not like my role but, in theater like in life, one does not always get the role they choose. I just pray that God gives me the strength to play well my part---as best I define it.

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