UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

NEW SPECIMENS OLD SPECIMENS THE SCIENTIST MY LOG CONTACT ME
2003-03-04 - 6:50 p.m.

THE RETURN

Standing on the cusp of young adulthood feels perilous. When Kat stood there, staring at her upcoming Bat Mitzvah ceremony that would mark her passage into Jewish adulthood, she panicked and having a panicked Kat is akin to having a panicked pet. You can make soothing noises and perhaps hold out your hand but you have to watch yourself. That fight part of fight-or-flight can be dangerous. Day-Hay�s reaction is different. Day-Hay looked down and then looked back�which explains how Rachel, the American Girl doll that�s supposed to look like Day-Hay, is back in our lives.

Day-Hay bought Rachel for herself. She saved for months because American Girl dolls are not cheap. She asked us to be her bank and give her allowance in the form of a listing of money in her �account� so that she would not be tempted to spend impulsively. Rachel, before she even arrived, taught Day-Hay a great deal about money, goals, and patience.

The day Rachel arrived, Day-Hay was ecstatic. She combed Rachel�s hair�and whoever designed American Girl dolls understood just how important a doll with good hair for combing is. Day-Hay dressed Rachel in one of the three outfits she also had saved her money to buy. Eventually, she sewed for her, she made a bed for her, bought Rachel a flute just like the one she plays, and had me write the name of her school on Rachel�s olive bucket hat so they could have matching hats.

Then, one day, Day-Hay put her away. She didn�t put her far. Rachel lived in her special box under Day-Hay�s bed. But Day-Hay didn�t comb her hair anymore, she didn�t dress her anymore, and she didn�t ask me to kiss Rachel goodnight anymore. When a discussion came up at dinner in which we discussed Kat�s desire to take �bebe� (aka: her blankie) to college with her, Day-Hay indicated that Rachel would have to stay behind. She occasionally spoke of saving Rachel for her own little girl someday but she spoke as someone who was past the Rachel-age.

But in the last few days Rachel has returned. She�s had numerous hair styles. She�s worn several outfits. Day-Hay even informed us that she intended to buy Rachel a taekwondo uniform after the obligatory waiting period for larger purchases. One moment I have Day-Hay insisting that I treat her like she�s growing up and the next moment I have Day-Hay insisting that I kiss Rachel goodnight.

But looking back to gain the courage to go forward can be a good strategy. It�s certainly a quieter and more independent strategy than the cornered animal routine was. And I know that all too soon, Rachel will go back in her box and back under the bed, most likely for a very long time to come.

So I will kiss Rachel goodnight---just as Day-Hay is kissing childhood goodbye.

LAST YEAR: Going Away and coming Home Again

LAST FIVE ENTRIES:

Disaster Date
A Wonder Like That
Laughter
Sad Day in the Neighborhood
Out to Get Me

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