2003-05-04 - 8:13 p.m.
ROAR
ROOOAAARR. ROOOAAARR. Pause. ROOOAAARR. Some roars are ferocious but this roar was sad. You could hear her pain as the lioness roared again and again and again then paused for a response that never came. Aman Ra, the lion, died two weeks ago but there is no way to explain it to the lioness. So she roars and roars again, waiting for the response that always came before when they were separated. She sniffs the walls where his scent remains and roars again. The keepers believe she will continue to roar until his scent fades. I wonder if she�ll ever stop.
Those who know me well know that I have no particular affinity for animals. I feed the birds, which I call Tweedledum and Tweedledumber, but only if someone forgets them and only because I don�t believe in deliberate cruelty. I won�t have a dog and I can�t have a cat because, conveniently, cats make me wheeze and sneeze if they are in the same house. I shudder at the notion of gerbils, rats, or snakes.
So why did I have to leave the feline house? I just knew that I had to get out. The roar was running around and echoing in my brain. I found it hard to think. The pauses were worse than the roaring. She would roar and pause and then roar more desperately. I have never read a poem that conveyed grief as succinctly and powerfully. I have never read a story, short or otherwise, that demonstrated desolation as clearly.
If I am allowed to wish for my children, I wish that they touch someone else as deeply as Aman Ra touched his lioness. I hope that someone other than me values them so much that their death leaves such a large hole. I also hope that they have someone in their own lives, someone like Mr. Philately, who could leave such a large hole in theirs. And then I wish them the strength to live well with that much risk.
And as for the lioness, I hope she finds some consolation and healing soon.
LAST YEAR: no entry because I was in Washington, D.C.
Excitements of Marriage
Authority
Your Tax Dollars at Work
Little Things About Sewing
Where the Wild Talks Are
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
