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2002-03-11 - 4:48 p.m.

WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO?

A secretary at Mr. Philately�s office once remarked that I did not have a romantic bone in my body. Learning that I had asked for a good dictionary for my birthday and a good pocketknife for the holidays provoked that remark. I proved her wrong. I subsequently went out and sent Mr. Philately a dozen red roses that were delivered at the office. Mr. Philately laughed. While he appreciated the gesture, he knew me well enough to know that it was aimed at the secretary. He loves me enough that he enjoyed it anyway. Correctly or incorrectly, I still thought the �not romantic� label was only partly true. Last week, I began to suspect it might be all true.

Partly because I love Shakespeare and partly because the high school needed me, I took a day off of work and chaperoned the freshman field trip to a production of Romeo and Juliet. It was the easiest chaperoning I�ve ever done. The kids were terrific and calm on the bus and at the play. The play was a wonderful production, much better than I was expecting. Nevertheless, the play pointed out a flaw in my character. Instead of being swept away in the love story, I kept thinking how silly, naive, and teenage Romeo was

Worse, I couldn�t help thinking just how much like some of my clients Romeo was. Before I reached middle age and lost my few romantic notions, I did not notice that Romeo begins the play mooning over one girl and ends up, only a few days later, killing himself over an entirely different love. I see no reason to believe, based upon anything in the play, that had he had a few more weeks of life, he might not be looking to dump Juliet for some other Verona babe. Juliet may have been the sun but who is to say he wouldn�t crave clouds on another day.

In my more romantic youth, I did not notice that Romeo seems incapable of reflecting on his actions for more than a moment at a time and never seems able to keep his eye on the future. He is totally reaction and, like quite a few of my clients, manages to kill several people while reacting. He�s not dashing; he�s just incredibly stupid and somewhat unlucky.

As I thought about it, I realized that my view was not unique. When he took Romeo and Juliet and turned it into West Side Story, Leonard Bernstein decided to let Maria, his Juliet, live because he did not want a heroine as weak as Juliet. Even Leonard Bernstein recognized that Romeo was so emotional that there was no realistic way for him, or any character based upon him, to escape the play alive. And they say women are emotional creatures!

When Juliet asks, �Wherefore art thou Romeo?� she is not asking, as many people think, where Romeo is. Instead, she is asking why Romeo is Romeo. She means, �Why is Romeo a Montague, an enemy?�

If I were romantic, it would never occur to me to ask Juliet�s question but I do�with a twist. Why is Romeo such a Romeo? And if I could find the answer to that, unromantic as it is, I might understand my clients better.

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