2002-12-29 - 8:09 p.m.
ROUTINE
Life is not kind to those who must have their routine. Maintaining some routine much of the time is possible. But clinging to routine all of the time is not. I love routine. I crave routine. Yet the area in which I have grown the most is in the ability to say, �Let it come as it may.�
When my children were young, people would tell me how important consistency and routine were. If ever a child needed routine, my older child did. She still does. Routine, much as she rails against it, helps her regulate herself. So I listened and, following my own natural inclination, I established routines. I even went the next step and fought to maintain those routines as much as possible when we traveled. It kept our trips calmer (although never calm�Kat�s dislike of any change in her routine guaranteed that.) I felt more in control myself and the illusion of control itself is calming.
But now my children are older. Kat will graduate high school in two years and be launched into the world. Day-Hay will be in high school in two years. (Next year, if you count her foray there for a math class.) Life is not consistent and routine and they must learn to deal. It�s time to teach them how to manage reasonably with only a few key routines and how to function when no routine exists. And maybe I�m ready to teach it.
Within the last few years, I have done better and better when I travel and am out of routine. Whenever possible, I maintain food and wake-up times and maybe bedtimes although I no longer long to eat only familiar foods and to know what is coming before i comes. I function better. I�m beginning to appreciate having an adventure. I�m starting to go with the flow.
I wish I knew what, other than just getting older, is facilitating this change. I�d love to pass it on to my children, especially my oldest. Our last vacation taught me that Day-Hay can adapt. Kat can adapt too but she�ll do it very, very slowly and with much noise. She�ll rage and weep, pout and bemoan, and miss the best that change and serendipity have to offer.
A routine, consistent life is a constricted life. It is a life that excludes possibility and promise in exchange for regularity and order. It requires those around us to bang on the door, the window, and our heads when their needs change. It elevates predictability over the messiness of people as they are.
Routine is helpful but it is no god. It has limited power and limited utility. What is comfortable is not always what is best.
But I don�t think you can fit those truths into a lesson plan, even if you decide to homeschool.
LAST YEAR: Shame
LAST FIVE ENTRIES:
Cry for Me, Argentina
Hot Water
Chapter Summaries
Driving Distractions
Take a Number
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
