Being a school board member is like wearing a large sandwich board with a target painted on it fore and aft. It is an invitation for everyone to believe that you should drop everything�work, children, husbands�immediately and listen to their latest concern with your full attention. Some people are particularly good at laying traps. No woman has lived until she�s had a pap smear while her doctor is passionately given her his views on the lack of a teachers� contract.

So many of the complaints are very specific and not within the realm of school board. A board that always does what its superintendent wants is a weak board but a board that always second-guesses its superintendent and allows no room for small mistakes is one that will never have a really good superintendent. School boards are supposed to set policy, not muddle in everyday administrative decisions. We set the parameters of acceptable field trips. We don�t approve each individual field trip (at least not in my district.) We approve the human growth and development curriculum but we don�t decide what time of year the unit will be taught.

Human nature also makes this (unpaid) job challenging. People want answers. People demand answers. People refuse to accept that �I don�t know yet� is an answer. Yet right now, we have no state budget and no idea when the Madison gridlock will end. Having no state budget makes projecting our own budget something like gazing into a crystal ball but less definite. Giving definite answer is tantamount to lying. People insist that politicians shouldn�t lie. Yet they invite them to lie when they make �I don�t know yet� unacceptable.

A first run for school board generally involves someone who plans to make a difference. A second run for school board involves either someone who merely hopes to make a difference or a crazy person (and I�m afraid to figure out which one I am.) A first term seems full of possibilities. A second term retains some possibilities �if you are lucky.

Still, it is dealing with the rare crazies that takes all the aplomb one can muster, particularly when one�s children are around. Day-Hay, for example, alternates between wanting to jump in and defend me and to get upset. Either response is not helpful when dealing with someone who has no there there. My preferred technique is to let them go on and to respond in a very calm voice. Sometimes, I offer to call them later hoping that they will be calmer by then or have moved on to other things.

This time of year is always heavily school board. The band concert, the band concert, and other end-of-the-year happenings just make a body a little too accessible. It�s enough to make one long to take the sandwich board off. Wearing it just doesn�t seem worth the heat.

But perhaps something else is called for. Perhaps I need more creativity. Perhaps I need my inner Martha. That�s it.

Anyone have orange paint and a detour sign I can use as a template?

LAST YEAR: The Art of the Impossible
How interesting�school board was getting to me a year ago too. It really IS seasonal.

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Copyright 2006 by Ellen