The other day I helped Kat propagate what she hopes will be twenty-five genetically identical piggyback plants�and this was the easy part. Batten down the hatches, it�s science fair time and when we get through this one I�ll still have two to do with Day-Hay. These are times that try Moms� souls, pocketbooks, and skills. Anyone out there good at advising on a problem involving hydroponics and the action of sulphuric acid (think acid rain) on plants? Does sulphuric acid do more damage when sprinkled on the leaves or when it comes up through the roots? Should anyone other than Kat have to care?

This house is not well set up for science fair. I don�t have nooks and crannies where a child can stash 25 or 30 plants. For that matter, I don�t have many windows so we need plant lights. I don�t like having to help engineer a hydroponic system. I really don�t like spending a lot of money on tubs I�m about to cut holes in. I particularly don�t like being the advisor when I�m basically in over my head. Botany? Not me! I have a black thumb.

What I really need is to have my father living near by. Now that he�s retired, he probably needs a good science project to keep him busy. Let him have the mess at his house. He�d probably find it interesting and fun to work with a grandchild on this project, even if it doesn�t allow him to deal with flashing light bulbs or batteries. With a background in chemistry and a few patents to his name, he�s much more of a Science Fair Guardian Angel than I could ever hope to be.

It doesn�t help that Kat is at a very competitive high school. Some of these kids manage to recruit university professors to help them with their projects. Most of the professionals I know are lawyers. Very few lawyers are good scientists. I�ve done enough correction of sentence credit calculations to know just how few lawyers can add.

Perhaps this whole thing is one giant science fair. Somewhere there is a science teacher doing a huge experiment. How much science fair can we impose on parents before they crack? The control group is a lucky group of parents whose children are not required to do a project. The medium stress level group is the group doing a middle school science fair group. Unfortunately for me, I�m in the high stress group. Welcome back to high school.

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