I was a party girl last night. Really. I didn�t get home until 1:30 a.m. (which was actually 2:30 a.m. to my pre-change body and felt like it.) It was five or six hours after my bedtime. I started at a 75th birthday party and ended up at a bar with Mr. Philately�s friends. (I had had my one glass of wine earlier and was only drinking coffee by then but hey, I never said I was a total party girl.) I haven�t partied like this in years and I could do it because I am past the babysitter years. I�m achy and lethargic today but it was worth it. Ultimately, it was partying at its best with the best sort of people.

The partying did not start out very well. Initially, the 75th birthday party was just the sort I hate�a lot of people making connections in a very crowded and noisy room. For some reason, all the people Mr. Philately and I knew at the party were tall like Mr. Philately. All the talk went over my head, literally. I couldn�t catch much of most of the conversations. I carrying my wine glass around, balancing an occasional hors d�oeuvre, and longing for home. Dinner was included but it required balancing a plate in the crowd while tall people forgot to look down and kept trying to walk right through me. I thought I was wearing a sign: invisible.

Just as I was about to lobby Mr. Philately that it was okay to take our leave, everything changed. The crowd thinned out and Mr. Philately and I ended up in a small group with the women of men Mr. Philately is close to. We could talk, we could hear each other, and we could have fun. I knew I could leave, and with the flowing alcohol beginning to take effect on some of the people around me, I knew I wanted to, but I still wanted to keep the people with me, with me. So we did. We picked up and moved to a classy, quiet bar�along with all of the men. It took a little finagling of the only guy in the group who is less of a party animal than I am but we left that to his girlfriend and he came.

That�s how I ended up in a bar, late at night, with two of the few men that Mr. Philately has ever told his troubles to and who have told their troubles to Mr. Philately, and with the women they are with. The conversation tended to break between the women and the men. I really like the women so I didn�t mind the way I occasionally do. I had a blast.

We don�t go out with these people very often but I looked around and realized that Mr. Philately was with two of his closest friends. They are not, perhaps, the guys he is most likely just to hang out with (I suspect his stamp buddies win that title) but they are the guys he talks to�about work troubles, about work in general, and, rare as it can be among guys, about other troubles. He doesn�t run around talking deeply to these guys all the time but, if he�s going to talk, these are the guys he will do it with.

I�m not really close to either of them although there was a time when I did a lot of professional speaking with one of them and we took some business trips together. I�ve gotten occasional professional help from both of them. I�ve had enough contact to know that they are real sweethearts. Some women are jealous of their husband�s friends. Some women can�t figure out how their husband�s friendships work. I�m glad I�m not one of them. I�m not sure exactly what I owe these guys we were out with last night but I know I owe them a lot. They�ve been there through the tough stuff, both in family and career, and they�ve been supportive. If men can be judged by the friends they make, Mr. Philately is prince.

Whatever other tendencies I have, I�m pretty conservative in my partying. I almost missed an opportunity last night just because I was tired. I�m just glad I�ve finally learned the word �serendipity.� I think Mr. Philately is even gladder.

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