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2002-07-13 - 9:30 p.m.

SISTERS

One child has returned and another child is preparing to leave. I live with my daughters seriatim this summer. Settling one in while easing one out is a new trick. The transition would be smoother if running the washer did not require an extension cord. A working washer (or, in a pinch, a laundromat) is essential to this time of flux. Despite that minor annoyance, this bridge between forays on their own shows me that, in spite of the noise and rancor from time to time, the girls are tightly bonded.

Both girls seem to need quiet to get through right now but they are not separate. Day-Hay and Kat are on the couch, noses in books. Now they are at either end but earlier Kat�s head was in Day-Hay�s lap. Kat was the first person Day-Hay greeted today when we picked her up and Kat willingly awoke to be ready to go by 8:30 just to greet her. Despite the occasional squabbles, those two are close when it counts. Day-Hay has asked to skip day camp on Monday to spend one last day with Kat before Kat leaves for camp and we have granted permission.

Day-Hay, my much more social child, has a circle of friends and thrives on the group living at camp. Still, her very best friend is Kat�most of the time. Kat, my loner, has fewer friend but her best friend too comes from family. Her best friend is Day-Hay. Sure, there are times of too much togetherness. Even friends have seasons of too much togetherness. But in times of great joy and in the depths of sorrow, they turn to each other.

The main way that you can distinguish them as sisters, not friends is the very physicality of their relationship. Day-Hay does not wrestle with her friends. Her friends are do not view friendship as a contact sport. Kat�s friends, particularly her theater friends, are a little more likely to have physical contact but they don�t wrestle. A quick jab in the arm is more acceptable. The other way is their uncanny ability to find each others� buttons when peeved and their willingness to go for them. Only one of Day-Hay�s friendships comes close to having this quality and it is her friendship with a girl she was in daycare with from the time she was a year old.

I�m glad my girls have discovered the beauties of sisterhood and not just its thorns. I don�t expect loving kindness all the time. I have two sisters of my own and I know better than that. But I want for my girls what I have for myself: sisters who are friends and not just family. Luckily for them, I think they have it.

___

I hope no one was worried that I did not post yesterday. I was involved with interviews for a new middle school principal all day and then just had to enjoy the lovely weather.

LAST YEAR: It�s (Not) a Good Thing

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