UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

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2002-10-20 - 8:38 p.m.

ANY TAKERS OUT THERE?

Some things are going to change around here. I can�t live this way. If I knew of a magic spell that would bring about an attitude adjustment, I�d use it. But I don�t know how to turn a fifteen-year-old into a person I can stand to live with.

I suppose it could be worse. She doesn�t do drugs or drink, she�s a reasonably good student (as long as I hold something over her), she�s responsible at her job, and she is beloved by small children. But something happens when she walks through my door.

At first, you don�t even notice it. You can have a pleasant conversation about her day. You can talk literature with her or praise her singing. What you cannot do is ask her to do anything at all�not a chore, not a favor, not her homework�unless she spontaneously decides to do it herself. If you ask�if you even appear to inquire�the snarl happens, the shrug happens, and some swearing may even occur. Telling myself that this age is the one for all that does not make it easier to take nor does it make it more acceptable.

I�m seriously contemplating doing no extras for that child until she straightens up and proves she�s a real member of this family. She has to stay after school to work on a project. The weather has been nasty and rain is predicted for tomorrow so I was thinking about offering to go get her. After dealing with behavior that�s enough to call for an exorcist, I�m re-thinking my position. She can stand in the rain and wait for the city bus. She won�t melt unless I�m wrong about what�s underneath and she really is the Wicked Witch of the (Mid)West, in which case it would be all for the best.

Perhaps someone out there would like to buy a fifteen-year-old. Heck, I�d even give her away to a good home. I realize that this entry is not exactly an good advertisement but I�ve learned something about fifteen-year-olds over the years and it�s been reinforced by visits from a few of her friends. Fifteen-year-olds make lovely pets as long as they are not in their own houses.

So, any takers out there?

LAST YEAR: You Can�t Play It as Written



LAST FIVE ENTRIES:

The Guitar
The Mildew of Boredom
Get Up and Go
Second Mothers
Nice
ANY TAKERS OUT THERE?

Some things are going to change around here. I can�t live this way. If I knew of a magic spell that would bring about an attitude adjustment, I�d use it. But I don�t know how to turn a fifteen-year-old into a person I can stand to live with.

I suppose it could be worse. She doesn�t do drugs or drink, she�s a reasonably good student (as long as I hold something over her), she�s responsible at her job, and she is beloved by small children. But something happens when she walks through my door.

At first, you don�t even notice it. You can have a pleasant conversation about her day. You can talk literature with her or praise her singing. What you cannot do is ask her to do anything at all�not a chore, not a favor, not her homework�unless she spontaneously decides to do it herself. If you ask�if you even appear to inquire�the snarl happens, the shrug happens, and some swearing may even occur. Telling myself that this age is the one for all that does not make it easier to take nor does it make it more acceptable.

I�m seriously contemplating doing no extras for that child until she straightens up and proves she�s a real member of this family. She has to stay after school to work on a project. The weather has been nasty and rain is predicted for tomorrow so I was thinking about offering to go get her. After dealing with behavior that�s enough to call for an exorcist, I�m re-thinking my position. She can stand in the rain and wait for the city bus. She won�t melt unless I�m wrong about what�s underneath and she really is the Wicked Witch of the (Mid)West, in which case it would be all for the best.

Perhaps someone out there would like to buy a fifteen-year-old. Heck, I�d even give her away to a good home. I realize that this entry is not exactly an good advertisement but I�ve learned something about fifteen-year-olds over the years and it�s been reinforced by visits from a few of her friends. Fifteen-year-olds make lovely pets as long as they are not in their own houses.

So, any takers out there?

LAST YEAR: You Can�t Play It as Written



LAST FIVE ENTRIES:

The Guitar
The Mildew of Boredom
Get Up and Go
Second Mothers
Nice

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