Timing matters. Deadlines matter. Don�t they? I�ve spent all day writing a brief about timing and deadlines. I�ve always been a person to whom deadlines and timing matter. Within the last year or so, however, I�ve loosened up. I finally looked around and noticed that the kid who forgets her lunch on a school outing ends up with pizza instead of the everyday peanut butter. I noticed that more and more of the places I used to send summer applications to were no longer going by �first come, first served� but instead were using lotteries �to be more fair.� I�m being trained to forget my early training and forgetting I am.

I�m getting more lackadaisical about a lot of things. Is it lack of caring or just not obsessing? Once I would have had hotel reservations made months in advance for a weekend trip. Now we have a trip only two weeks away and I can�t seem to make myself pick up the phone. Maybe we�ll get our first choice and maybe we�ll make do. I can�t seem to worry. At this point, our odds of getting a decent place may be better the closer we get. We may be at the wait-for-a-cancellation point. I�ll find out tomorrow. (Oh, dear, I�m not only lethargic but I�m a Scarlett O�Hara lethargic at that. BLECH!)

I don�t seem depressed. I�m just----inert. Still, I�m selectively inert. I�ve got myself exercising every day. I�m getting work done. It�s the deadline thing. I just don�t care. I�ll get the form for youth group to the rabbi sometime. Maybe Monday. Maybe tomorrow. It�ll happen�I think.

As for this journal entry, I considered not getting it done too. I did it from habit not from passion tonight (as if you couldn�t guess.) But here it is because, despite this little lapse, time matters. I think.

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