UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

NEW SPECIMENS OLD SPECIMENS THE SCIENTIST MY LOG CONTACT ME
2002-11-23 - 9:54 p.m.

TOSSING OUT

Mr. Philately�s diabolical plan to take over the house has been revealed and thwarted. For now, the creeping crud is creeping backward, despite all the paperwork. The looming fungus looms no more. Stamps still threaten at every shelf and at odd pieces of floor but they�re next. I�m reclaiming the house and I�m exhausted.

Mr. Philately was in Chicago today at a stamp show. He thought I was a generous wife to make it so easy for him to play. But it was just a diversion. A guy separated from stuff has much more difficulty protecting stuff.

I started with the refrigerator. Did you know I actually have shelves in the refrigerator? I had forgotten.

I tackled the job because reefrigerator space is at a premium as we go into Thanksgiving. The turkey needs space to defrost. The sweet potato casserole will need space to sit before the big day. Salad fixings take up room. With a husband who helps in the kitchen by saving every scrap of leftover, there is no space. He adheres to the old Erma Bombeck rule that you cannot throw away leftovers until they recognize you. But he wasn�t here. Being inedible was sufficient for any leftover to find itself in the garbage.

The successful reclamation of refrigerator space inspired me. Did you know that I have a basement floor near the washer? I had forgotten.

I started on the pile of clothes that I intend to give to charity. Mr. Philately has a protocol for those. Sometimes it seems to consist of making piles in the basement and making the rest of the job so complicated that a mere mortal won�t attempt it. But I inventoried every last piece and boxed it�except for the pieces of clothing that aren�t even good enough to go to Goodwill. Just because someone around here wears something doesn�t make it good enough for the poor. I don�t expect someone to go around in Kat�s tie-dyed jeans with the holes all over them, for example.

Today domestic areas, tomorrow who knows? Mr. Philately should be worried. When a wife starts tossing out the junk, you never know what�s going next.

LAST YEAR: Time Out of Time



LAST FIVE ENTRIES:

Not Strictly Kosher
Short
Culturally Deprived
A Very Strange Feeling (by Kat)
Gloried
Whole Word

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