In my line of work, I meet some colorful characters. (I also meet some dangerous characters and some evil characters but they are part of another story.) Currently, one of my clients is a constant liar. One of my co-workers referred to her as an �accomplished liar,� but she�s not. There�s a difference between being good at lying and simply doing it reflexively. She a prodigious liar, not a talented liar. Her lying is poorly timely, badly executed, and ultimately unconvincing to everyone but her.

Many people I know are very bothered by lying. Some co-workers are surprised that this woman�s lying doesn�t bother me more. I know that it will be turned on me. Actually, it already has. She�s written to the courts to complain about me and most of what she has written are lies. Her lying is so badly done, however, that I figure the judges and court staff will manage to see through it.

At some point, I expect that she will go lie about me to the Office of Lawyer Regulation. There will be a lot of red tape and hoops to jump through but I am good at documenting and I am not worried about how it will come out. Maybe it shouldn�t, but her lying often amuses me. Given the amount I have to put up with it, it�s better that way. When I�m amused, I�m not getting tension headaches.

Watching her, reminds me of my delight the first time I caught Kat in a lie somewhere when she was seven or so. Most mothers, I understand, are horrified at catching their children in a lie and, I would be annoyed today if I caught Kat in a lie. But, back then, Kat didn�t even realize that lying was an option, albeit a bad one, and I worried about what that said about her social skills.

Most children demonstrate that they know something about lying or subterfuge almost as soon as they can talk. Some children show it earlier. But lying requires that a person realize that another person doesn�t necessarily know what you know. It requires perception of the difference between you and me. Kat seemed to lack that perception for years longer than most kids. Kat lacked a lot of perceptions about people that the rest of us take for granted. She couldn�t read body language. She missed most non-verbal communication.

We�ve never officially had a diagnosis of Kat�s problems: the poor balance, the motor planning difficulties, the sensory deficits, and the difficulties grasping non-verbal communication. Luckily, occupational therapy, ballet, and time I�ve spent working with her putting non-verbal communication and body language into words as well as some social skills classes and a little support from a therapist have worked wonders. While some social awkwardness remains, most of it matters very little. Kat�s strengths, her early reading, general quickness of mind, her facility with language, her musical abilities, and her usually generous nature have stood her in good stead and hide some of the leftover weaknesses.

And now she can lie, but she chooses not to. My client, on the other hand, can no longer do anything but lie. She doesn�t know the truth. She�s the type of liar who talks herself into her lies and who simply stops making any sense when confronted with them because she cannot let them go.

Watching my client, I know that I do not want a child who does not know the truth. Watching Kat, I know that I do want a child who knows how to lie. I want a child who tells the truth�by choice.

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