2002-11-28 - 9:19 p.m.
TURKEY FOR ONE?
I�ve tried to give my children a lot of things: a feeling of being loved, a moral compass, skills with which to take on the world, and the knowledge that they are a part of something bigger than themselves. I�ve given them shelter, clothing, and food. I�ve given them a love of music and a few extras. I�ve given them material and spiritual gifts I know they are thankful for. What I have not been able to give them is the excitement of holidays with lots of family all around.
I�m not very good at marking holidays. I can�t create the best of my childhood for them because other family is too far away. My brother came in from Missouri for Thanksgiving and I am grateful for that but one uncle can�t match the seven cousins and assorted aunts and uncles of my childhood Thanksgivings. I don�t know how long my brother will live within driving distance. I also suspect that Kat will go to college far enough away to spend Thanksgiving with someone else as I did in those years. Even my little Thanksgivings seem threatened.
If my brother and Kat went, the last vestiges of my traditions will go with them. Day-Hay and Mr. Philately are vegetarians and don�t eat turkey or stuffing baked in turkey or, in the case of Day-Hay, anything else except cranberry sauce and salad that goes with my traditional feast. I fear I�ll be reduced to bringing in a dinner for myself from Boston Market or giving up altogether.
Still, I know that there are people who don�t have the means or the ability to get that turkey or any of the rest of it. Compared to them, my problems with the holiday are small. Compared to them, I am blessed. But pain and anxiety are still pain and anxiety.
When I feel things slipping away, my instinct is to hold on tighter. Unfortunately, children and family often suffocate if you hold on too tight. So I�ll have to fight my instinct, trust, and learn to embrace the changes.
Turkey for one, anyone?
LAST YEAR: The People Who Give Out the Poptarts
LAST FIVE ENTRIES:
An Urge to Reboot the Helpless Guy
Whistling in Chinese Restaurants
Veteran of the Calculus Wars
Tossed Out
Not Strictly Kosher
Short
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
