2002-11-28 - 9:19 p.m.
TURKEY FOR ONE?
I’ve tried to give my children a lot of things: a feeling of being loved, a moral compass, skills with which to take on the world, and the knowledge that they are a part of something bigger than themselves. I’ve given them shelter, clothing, and food. I’ve given them a love of music and a few extras. I’ve given them material and spiritual gifts I know they are thankful for. What I have not been able to give them is the excitement of holidays with lots of family all around.
I’m not very good at marking holidays. I can’t create the best of my childhood for them because other family is too far away. My brother came in from Missouri for Thanksgiving and I am grateful for that but one uncle can’t match the seven cousins and assorted aunts and uncles of my childhood Thanksgivings. I don’t know how long my brother will live within driving distance. I also suspect that Kat will go to college far enough away to spend Thanksgiving with someone else as I did in those years. Even my little Thanksgivings seem threatened.
If my brother and Kat went, the last vestiges of my traditions will go with them. Day-Hay and Mr. Philately are vegetarians and don’t eat turkey or stuffing baked in turkey or, in the case of Day-Hay, anything else except cranberry sauce and salad that goes with my traditional feast. I fear I’ll be reduced to bringing in a dinner for myself from Boston Market or giving up altogether.
Still, I know that there are people who don’t have the means or the ability to get that turkey or any of the rest of it. Compared to them, my problems with the holiday are small. Compared to them, I am blessed. But pain and anxiety are still pain and anxiety.
When I feel things slipping away, my instinct is to hold on tighter. Unfortunately, children and family often suffocate if you hold on too tight. So I’ll have to fight my instinct, trust, and learn to embrace the changes.
Turkey for one, anyone?
LAST YEAR: The People Who Give Out the Poptarts
LAST FIVE ENTRIES:
An Urge to Reboot the Helpless Guy
Whistling in Chinese Restaurants
Veteran of the Calculus Wars
Tossed Out
Not Strictly Kosher
Short
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
