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2003-03-25 - 8:46 a.m.

SILENCED BY VISIONS

Visions. Day-Hay is having visions. Every time Day-Hay has visions, I get pulled along. Currently, her visions exceed her grasp by less than they used to but most of her big projects still involve me. Sometimes, like this time, I don�t really mind. But it does make it hard to follow my own path.

Day-Hay�s bat mitzvah is coming up on Saturday. She has accepted that the party will be less than what many around here do. She has done most of the work of preparing. She is prepared to lead services. She is prepared to read Hebrew from the Torah�without any vowels. She is prepared to sing her Haftorah (a selection from the prophets.) She has written a wonderful speech about her Torah portion (and I hope to post it this weekend.) She�s done everything I could have expected. So, when she had an idea that didn�t cost much, I had to go along.

Day-Hay is making a scrapbook. Normally, making a scrapbook would not have to involve Mom. She has all the materials, most of which she purchased with money saved up from babysitting. But, unfortunately for her and for me, she has a father who has terrible trouble with the idea of cutting into pictures and placing them in a scrapbook. Never mind that our pictures currently sit in boxes in no particular order. Never mind that he doesn�t know what pictures we have exactly. He�s a collector at heart and he doesn�t want anyone �destroying� the pristine collection.

So Day-Hay is dealing with pictures I�ve scanned in and printed out for her. She can do the scanning but it takes more time than she has right now between preparation, homework, dance, taekwondo, and chores. Besides, Day-Hay is home at prime computer time. She has to compete with Kat�s homework and Mr. Philately�s tax preparation. I�m the one with odd moments during the day and enough power to commandeer the computer at night if necessary. I�ve become the person who does the scanner.

All of which is just fine except it leaves me no computer time to write and post. War can�t silence me. Family drama and trauma can�t silence me. Even nothing to say can�t silence me for long. But Day-Hay�s visions are another story.

I�ve been silenced by visions.

LAST YEAR: Sounds of Morning

What Can�t Be Undone
Needing a Little Exercise
War
Keys, Glorious Keys
Keeping Above Water
Cooler By the Lake

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