UNDER THE MICROSCOPE

NEW SPECIMENS OLD SPECIMENS THE SCIENTIST MY LOG CONTACT ME
2002-11-25 - 8:22 p.m.

WHISTLING IN CHINESE RESTAURANTS

As he was paying for dinner last night, Mr. Philately quipped about the government discovering that we like Chinese food. No wonder we decided to get a different dish than we usually get. I thought I was getting it because I was cold and wanted a hot dish and maybe I was. But Mr. Philately had other motives. He was trying to confuse the government.

Mr. Philately had visions of John Poindexter (yes, the Iran-contra John Poindexter) going through his giant computer�s Total Information Awareness line-by-line. �Why didn�t the Philatelys order Gado-Gado?� Poindexter would ask himself. �What are they cooking up?� The obvious answer to that question is �Nothing. That�s why they had to visit a Chinese restaurant.� When paranoia is the latest craze, however, everything has significance. Perhaps our failure to order our usual dish at the Chinese restaurant occurred because the dish actually is Indonesian. Why were we shunning the Indonesians anyway?

If it weren�t for Mr. Philately�s hobbies, I could believe more easily that those of us who are law-abiding were in no danger. But I�m married to a man who collects and exhibits drug tax stamps. He�s registered as a drug dealer in a few states because that is the only way to get the tax stamps needed for his collection. Real stamp collectors know that few self-respecting drug dealers would register and pay the taxes. But I�m not sure what John Poindexter knows. I suspect he knows what he wants to know�and with the bold assertions suggesting that the war on terror and the war on drugs are really one and the same. I�m nervous and I�m hoping this additional explanation here out on the Internet where anyone could find it might help save me.

McCarthy and his brand of government control and paranoia was bad and dangerous. But McCarthy didn�t have IBM behind him the way that Hitler did. (Some have argued that what made the Nazis different was not their hatred but their efficiency.) McCarthy didn�t have computing power the way that John Poindexter will. McCarthy had a list but he was slowed by the need to type it up by hand. John Poindexter will be able to spit out massive lists at the push of a button.

So I don�t take much pleasure out of picturing Poindexter poring over the printout of the items I purchased at the Chinese restaurant. Mr. Philately was whistling in the dark�and I didn�t like his tune.

LAST YEAR: Serendipity

LAST FIVE ENTRIES:

Veteran of the Calculus Wars
Tossed Out
Not Strictly Kosher
Short
Culturally Deprived
A Very Strange Feeling (by Kat)

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