2003-04-25 - 8:43 a.m.
WHERE THE WILD TALKS ARE
�Why do we have intense discussions about male-female relationships in the middle of Noodles [Restaurant]?� asked Mr. Philately. His question surprised me. He�s been a parent too long to ask that question. He should not still be hanging onto that Norman Rockwell mental picture that has children engaging in the important discussions when curled up next to you on the couch or being tucked into bed.
My children have never asked the tough questions at bedtime. Bedtime questions involve anxieties or stalling. �May I have a drink of water?� �What happens if R�s still mad at me tomorrow?� �May I do the homework I just remembered I have?� As for cuddling, cuddling apparently is for telling, not asking, at least for Kat. Day-Hay, the child on the go, cuddles so rarely that I�m not sure what her cuddling is for.
And Mr. Philately should know that sex questions often come in public After all, Kat was the eight or nine year old child who stood in the middle of Menard�s and asked about a portion of her 4-H project. �Rocky the Cougar�s medical records say he had a vasectomy,� she announced. She quickly followed with, �What�s a vasectomy?� You could see the men avoiding us for aisles.
Although Mr. Philately did not attend the ballet with us, I know that he heard about six year old Day-Hay�s question at �Billy the Kid� although it was not the question as much as the reaction to it that created a furor. As she watched the girl in the saloon dance over to Billy, she asked, �Why is she doing that?� �She LIKES him,� I informed her. �Yes,� she persisted. �But why is she doing that?� I gulped, looked at the perfectly coifed, fur-bedecked, white-haired women around. �Well,� I delicately tried to answer. �Your sister would say she wants to mate with him.� �Oh,� came the stage-whisper, followed very closely by a lot of coughing around us. �She wants SEX.�
Even when questions occur in the house, they do not occur with pomp and circumstance. Mr. Philately should know. He was in the next room when a young Day-Hay got around to asking how the baby got into the mother. While she was not in a public place, she was not exactly speaking in conspiratorial or hushed tones. She was very matter-of-factly trying to remove the seeds and goop from a pumpkin so we could make a Jack O�Lantern. She asked her question in the same tone she said, �Please pass the spoon.� That same matter-of-factness held a few years later when she left Mr. Philately reeling in the hallway as she told him as she went past that he didn�t need to use his penis anymore because Mommy had said that she did not want any more children.
So, as the discussion at Noodles was not even sexual, I cannot figure out why he thought it should occur elsewhere. Perhaps he thinks such discussions should be restricted to higher class restaurants like Subway or Boston Market.
Or perhaps he thinks they belong out in the streets.
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
