2002-09-21 - 9:54 p.m.
ZERO SUM WINNING
Despite what popular culture suggests, there is not a loser for every winner. Not every prize is finite. Love, for example, is not a zero sum game. Loving an additional child does not take away from the children one already loves. Neither are some types of recognition. There can be more than one terrific dancer on a stage.
Some ridicule the notion of win-win. I recognize that times exist when only one person can win. Only one person can have the lead in the play�unless there are rotating casts. While two people can tie at checkers, I suppose, only one can actually win. I�ve never believed in pretending that more than one person can win when that�s not possible but I vehemently refuse to believe that only one person can win when more than one winner is not only possible but likely.
Not everyone sees life this way, of course. I�ve known several people over the years, both family and friends, who firmly believe that for every winner, there is a loser. One of them lives in my household. From observation, I�d say that it can be a miserable way to live.
In a world where there are only winners and losers, every win by someone else is an immediate loss to you. Smiling on the good fortune of others is only possible if you paste on a smile. Resentment, anger, and a sense of loss seethe beneath the surface because if someone else is the winner, YOU must be the lose. To hold this belief is to live in a world in which the score is often rigged against you. To hold this belief chips away at self-esteem and drives your relatives nuts.
I refuse to believe that the winner/loser dichotomy is innate but I can�t seem to figure out how to stomp it out. Most of my attempts end up in the believer thinking that I believe she is a loser. After all, if I�m disapproving, she�s losing.
If anyone knows of a way to change the situation, I wish he or she would let me know. I�m willing to believe that I could win that way and so could my scorekeeper.
After all, I believe in win-win�and that makes at least one of us a winner.
LAST YEAR: Technology of Careers Past
LAST FIVE ENTRIES:
The Message
Life Among the Liliputians
Treasure
Dry Run
Girl Scout Fun
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
