2003-06-15 - 5:06 p.m.
EVIL CANADIANS
Okay, that�s it. I am ready for the condo. I am more than ready for the condo. I would be out looking for condos now if I were not so tired.
Today was that annual event I do not wait for, that day that reminds me just how much I hate gardening. (Yes, Marn, there are those of us who HATE gardening. I know that is a shock to your system and I apologize. If I had your address, I would even send you a few dead dandelions as a get well present.) Today was annual �Try to Make the Garden at Least Presentable Day.� In the annual battle of woman versus garden, this year the garden clearly will win.
In past years, I have battled the pricker bush, name unknown (which is not too surprising as I know the names of very few bushes other than Jeb and George.) Some prior idiot owner planted this pricker bush right next to the driveway so that it must be cut radically and often or it will be more effective than a big dog at keeping people at bay. But hedge clippers, either manual (which I prefer as I can control them better) or electric (Mr. Philately�s weapon of choice), keep that bush under control. It is a battle but a winnable one.
Years ago, I fought the battle of drought�s possible effects on a paper birch. With a devotion that I rarely show to plants, I have come to love the paper birch. Only in a drought year does the paper birch need much attention and watering it with a slow long soak of the hose was no problem in the summer of 1988 when Kat was a baby and I was home most of the day anyway.
But his year, there was the matter of the Canadian Thistles. Those thistles tried to take over the bed on the side of the house. I tried to remove them. Gloves were not total protection from their evil prickles but I pressed on. I used the long stick with a little metal forked tongue thingie (don�t you love it when I talk technical) and went as far down in the roots as I could. Those devils really anchor themselves. I worked and worked and worked (and am I going to be sore tomorrow!)
It even looks as though I succeeded but these things are sneaky, tenacious, and aggressive, and I know from past experience that they will be back. I am so sure of it that I have made a wanted poster. (No self-respecting plant would show its leaves if it knows it is wanted, would it? After all, my grass does not grow where it is wanted. It does not grow in the lawn. Only dandelions grow there. No, the grass grows in the front flower bed where it is NOT wanted.) See?
Now, I have known other things Canadian but none of them have ever given me this much trouble. My father graduated from the University of Manitoba and I do not believe he ever has given me this much trouble, not even when I deserved it.. I spent my childhood living a little north of Canada, just across the Detroit River, and I spent my childhood watching Canadian television. Certainly, the Friendly Giant and the little mouse on �Chez Helene� never gave me this much trouble. I went to Montreal, St. John, and Grand Manan on my honeymoon and the only person on that tour that gave me trouble was a fellow American. These Canadian Thistles are aggressive and tenacious and let me tell you that in the very, very unlikely event you ever meet a Canadian person equally aggressive and tenacious, you should consider running (and no, I do not expect that you will ever live down the indignity of having to run from a Canadian but I advise you to do it anyway.)
So, I was not prepared to meet an Evil Canadian, but now that I have I would be ready to abandon house and home except I am sure that Mr. Philately will have all sorts of reasons that we should not move into a condo immediately and I am not willing to abandon him. Ever since we moved into this house, Mr. Philately has had all sorts of reasons that we should not move. The one that always convinces me of the correctness of his position, however, is the amount of work moving would be. And, after all, it is the amount of work I did today that has me ready for the condo. You just cannot fight the logic in life�s perfect circles of reasons. So I am staying put�for now.
But I may yet be driven out by Evil Canadians.
LAST YEAR: Not a Family Values Kind of Guy
TWO YEARS AGO: The Ties That Velobind
The Small Stuff
The Dump
Dreaming of Recall
Real Men
Cutting Past the Bone
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
