2002-09-19 - 9:38 p.m.
LOATHING SEPTEMBER
I think I have the transition blues. Septembers are always hard as summer moves into fall. This September is particularly hard. Perhaps the problem is that this summer was so very free. We had few activities and there was time for long walks and long talks. Perhaps the problem is that the summer seemed a breather�from homework, going in different directions, living in my car. Whatever it is, I am coming to loathe this September.
Everything just seems so much harder, so much more restricted, so much more somber, and so much more work in September than it did in August. In August, I take walks with Mr. Philately. In September I leave him notes on the table as we pass each other on our way in or out of the door. In August, if I call his cell phone, I do it for the contact. In September I call to send or receive key information.
It doesn�t help that most people at my office seem depressed. Many of us have children and are going through the September transition. Others are reacting to the disaster that is our new computerized case management program. A few are dealing with seriously ill in-laws. We can find as many reasons for gloom as there are hours in the day.
I�ve tried approaching the September problem as though all I need is an attitude adjustment. At times, it�s almost worked. I came back from the girl scout overnight flying high and thrilled to start a new year. The feeling lasted until I got the call about my nephew�s shoulder (although the good news there is that the shoulder does not require surgery.)
This is the September of not only change but of not quite good enough. This September the demands seem more daunting than before. I feel as though I�m drowning which is a neat trick as I doubt I�ve even put a toe into the pool of real sorrow. No one has died or seems in imminent danger of doing so. I�m just irritable, cranky, and out of sorts. One would think I�d lost my center but deep down I know that the center holds. I have a mosquito bite (and not the kind that gives West Nile virus), not a cancerous tumor.
But still, I wish I could scratch it and get relief. I loathe September.
LAST YEAR: L�Shanah Tova
LAST FIVE ENTRIES:
Life Among the Liliputians
Treasure
Dry Run
Girl Scout Fun
Delegation
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Copyright 2006 by Ellen |
