I love most weddings. I particularly love weddings where the people, and not the dresses or the photographer or the flowers, are the centerpiece. I love weddings that are family events with the cute little ringbearer and even the occasional crying baby. But the best weddings of all are the ones where the groom looks at the bride as though she is the only person in the room and where the guests leave with the feeling that the couple and their families really like each other.

Having other guests who are fun to be with always helps too. I really like the other people in the building where Mr. Philately works. They are warm, inclusive, and not the slightest bit stuck-up. I found myself dancing with three of the other women when our husbands were a bit reluctant to dance. I love dancing just to dance. Who needs a partner? I have not had such fun at a dance in a long time. Mr. Philately did dance one slow dance with me but he used up his one fast dance on a woman from his office (with my blessing�I told him he should ask her. She is a young widow who lost her husband some time ago, I know weddings are a bit hard for her, I know she loves to dance, and she gets too few opportunities.)

The service was lovely. It was in a big, old, lovely Unitarian church with a lot of gorgeous wood and a wonderful organ. The service was long enough and short enough�a length that varies depending upon circumstances. (Our wedding was a very, very short civil ceremony designed not to offend either of our families. The shortness was perfect for us because the less said, the less one could take offense at.) It was warm, inclusive, and personal.

Best of all, the wedding was not stuffy. It was about real people doing real things. It was not about perfection. To me, a wedding that does not insist on perfection suggests a marriage that is less likely to insist on perfection. Not insisting on perfection is part of a long and happy marriage. Much as I like weddings, I like 50th anniversaries even more.

Love, real love, the type of love that holds hands and laughs. The type of love that has room for family and friends. The type of love that looks not so much at each other as outwardly together.

I love weddings.

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