Tonight Mr. Philately and I are going out for our anniversary. Our anniversary actually was on December 30th but our tradition is to celebrate on another date. Heck, our tradition is for me to forget our anniversary all together. I broke that tradition this year, sort of, but some traditions are made to be broken.

On Tuesday morning when I awoke, I remembered that it was my anniversary. The morning fog parted long enough for me to think, �Nineteen years ago, I was getting ready for my wedding.� I think I even managed to murmur, �Happy Anniversary� at Mr. Philately but I�m not sure he was awake enough to hear it. I showered---and promptly forgot the date.

At the end of the day, as I was waiting for the girls who were at an acting workshop, I realized once again that it was my anniversary. I was near a hotel gift shop so I went in and found a card. I was so proud of myself. I crowed with delight and showed the card to the girls. I put it in my briefcase---and there it has stayed.

But tonight I am trying again. We will go to a local Japanese restaurant that Mr. Philately likes and perhaps out for coffee afterwards. I will give him the card but more than that, I will give him my undivided attention. The holidays are wonderful and filled with excitement, family, and friends but they are not a very good time for private moments or undivided attention. I will have a chance to listen to his dreams and thoughts---the important ones, the ones unconnected to children, to doing dishes, or to paying bills.

I have spent more time living with Mr. Philately than I did with my parents, sisters, and brother. I have shared a lot over those years�happy times such as births and weddings and sad times such as funerals, disappointments, and illness�and I hope to share many more.

Approximately a week ago, my sister-in-law asked if I believed in soulmates. I told her that I did not, at least not in the sense that there was only one right person out there. I suspect that there were several Mr. �Right�s out there for me with whom I could have had a good marriage. But none of that takes away from the deep connections that we have built over time.

Here�s to another nineteen years and another and another�.

Because I do believe in my marriage---even if I can�t quite remember my anniversary.

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