It was not a reindeer,
It was not St. Nick,
Instead, it was green
With two eyes on one stick.

It being the season,
Of laughter and cheer,
I invited him in
For eggnog or a beer.

But he wanted some chocolate.
Then he wanted more
So we headed out to
The Olde Ice Cream Store.

We got in the Chevy
(With luck it would start)
And I fiddled with keys
Till the car would depart.

When much to my joy
And much to my pleasure
Appeared Christmas lights
And that old man we treasure.

"What is the meaning
Of all of this dreck?
Confuse them with stoplights
And we'll have a wreck!"

"My dear friend, it is Christmas,"
I tried to explain,
"We celebrate giving
And giving again.

We celebrate Jesus,
The savior of men,
Who supposedly died
And then rose again."

The alien sighed,
And he tilted his head,
Made a guttural sound
And bewildered he said,

"Please don't be offended
And don't think I'm shrewish
But I still don't get it,
You see, I am Jewish."

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